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Some of people said that volunteer community should be an essential part of high school programs such as working for a charity, help their neighbourhood and also teaching a sports to the others.

Some of people said that volunteer community should be an essential part of high school programs such as working for a charity, help their neighbourhood and also teaching a sports to the others. YdMlm
Today’s voluntary program as important as others school programs. Some of people said that volunteer community should be an essential part of high school programs such as working for a charity, help their neighbourhood and also teaching a sports to the others. This program can leads several beneficial to community and school, moreover, to children self-development. In this essay I would extend my personal view of this statement. Voluntary as a mandatory program of school to teach them more sociable, down-to-earth person, and confidence. For example, in my previous experience, I joined in my school community service as a teacher assistant, my role to guided and helped student in junior high school who looking for a guidance for their study or learnt a new skill. This drive me numerous benefit, I became more sociable, helpful, and also increase my self-esteem. I learnt many things with joining in this club. As a result, that shapes me today’s being more down-to-earth person. The other advantages of voluntary program for schools and community are they can reduce cost of people to doing that jobs. For instance, for school they didn’t have to pay extra for teacher to doing a simple things such as based on my experience, with volunteer student, tutors can got help by volunteer student to assisting another student and helped tutor to gave an extra course to the other pupils are looking for this. Consequently, the tutor can focused to other things that more important and for the student they can learn something new from that. Furthermore, other programs such as help a disable or elderly people with student and schools contribution leads beneficial for society. On the other words, many people are being help by this programs and for the student they can being more grateful. The reason why voluntary programs so compulsory in the schools that bring an immense of pupils self-development. Firstly, that shapes the way of thinking. Secondly, that also help them how they will act in the midst of society. Last but not least, the advantages not only for the student but also for schools and neighbourhood. Compared to schools who doesn’t have any voluntary programs that reducing a sense of help on their students and leading to a self-centre. To sum up, it is true that unpaid club service in school become more essential due the fact it is a number of potential to pupils development, schools, and neighbourhood.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
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voluntary
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program
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as others
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school
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programs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
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people
said that volunteer
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community
should be an essential part of high
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as working for a charity,
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help
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
and
also
teaching
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a sport" or simply "sports"?
a sports
to the others. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
several beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
moreover
, to children self-development. In this essay I would extend my personal view of this statement.

Voluntary as a mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to teach them more sociable, down-to-earth person, and confidence.
For example
, in my previous experience, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service as a teacher assistant, my role to guided and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in junior high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
who looking for a guidance for their study or
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. This drive me numerous benefit, I became more sociable, helpful, and
also
increase my self-esteem. I
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things with joining in this club.
As a result
, that shapes me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s being more down-to-earth person.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
are they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to doing that jobs.
For instance
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they didn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay extra for teacher to doing a simple
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "thing"?
things
such as based on my experience, with volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, tutors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
by volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to assisting another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
tutor
Did you mean "to give"?
to gave
an extra course to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
pupils are looking for this.
Consequently
, the tutor can focused to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things that more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
they can learn something new from that.
Furthermore
,
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as
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help
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'disable' is correct. If 'disable' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a disable
or elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
contribution leads beneficial for society. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
by
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
they can being more grateful.

The reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
compulsory in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
that bring
The phrase 'an immense of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an immense of
pupils self-development.
Firstly
, that shapes the way of thinking.
Secondly
, that
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them how they will act in the midst of society. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the advantages not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
. Compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
who
Did you mean "do"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'schools' should be used.
doesn
’t have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that reducing a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and leading to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-centre
.

To sum up, it is true that unpaid club service in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
become more essential due the fact it is a number of potential to pupils development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
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IELTS essay Some of people said that volunteer community should be an essential part of high school programs such as working for a charity, help their neighbourhood and also teaching a sports to the others.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
405 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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