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Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Have never been thought before that museums and art galleries become increasingly popular nowadays. It is apparent that some people enjoy their leisure time in those destinations while gaining knowledge. However, high operating costs force numerous owners to charge fee for every visitor though some admission is still free. This essay will discuss and scrutinize the benefits and drawbacks in charging money for the entrance. To begin with, the charging fees is crucial for maintaining the operating costs, such as staff salary and conservation cost. This is due to the fact that the heritage goods are not only valueable, but also vulnerable. In addition, every material needs a special treatment which is costly. For instance, the expense budget for animal museum in Malang, Indonesia, costs for more than 70% of the profit to keep the dying-body animals safe and stay-still. Moreover, the owner also need to pay some experts in order to avoid a damage risk caused by insects, worms, or dusts. Meanwhile, burdening costs to the visitors could reduce visitors. People tend to visit theme parks or gardens rather than paying for the museum or art galleries. Furthermore, rarely do children love wandering around the museums and meticulously watching the heritage goods. For example, when Surabaya museum charged the visitors at Rp50. 000/people, the profit dropped drastically to a quarter of the prior year due to the fact that the number of visitors also dipped. Hence, unless the owners consider the most ideal rate for the admission, they might loss visitors. All in all, imposing a gate fee is vital to guarantee the conservation of the museum. Nevertheless, a high cost might only reduce the visitors as well as the profit. As a solution, the government ought to give subsidy and incentive to the museum and art galleries companies to keep the maintenance cost are paid without harming the visitors.
Have never been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and art galleries become
increasingly
popular nowadays. It is apparent that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy their leisure time in those destinations while gaining knowledge.
However
, high operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
force numerous owners to charge fee for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
admission is
still
free. This essay will discuss and scrutinize the benefits and drawbacks in charging money for the entrance.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the charging fees is crucial for maintaining the operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
, such as staff salary and conservation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
This is due to the fact that
the heritage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
valueable
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
vulnerable.
In addition
, every material needs a special treatment which is costly.
For instance
, the expense budget for animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Malang
, Indonesia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
for more than 70% of the profit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the dying-body animals safe and stay-
still
.
Moreover
, the owner
also
need to pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts in order to avoid a damage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
caused by insects, worms, or dusts.

Meanwhile, burdening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
tend to visit theme parks or gardens
rather
than paying for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
or art galleries.
Furthermore
, rarely do children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
wandering around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
meticulously
watching the heritage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
For example
, when Surabaya
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
charged the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
at Rp50. 000/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the profit dropped
drastically
to a quarter of the prior year due to the fact that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
also
dipped.
Hence
, unless the owners consider the most ideal rate for the admission, they might
“loss” is a noun. Did you mean the verb “lose” (= ‘to lose’)?
loss
visitors.

All in all, imposing a gate fee is vital to guarantee the conservation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Nevertheless
, a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
as well
as the profit. As a solution, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to give subsidy and incentive to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and art galleries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the maintenance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
are paid
without harming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
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IELTS essay Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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