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Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of admission fees outweigh the disadvantages?

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of admission fees outweigh the disadvantages? 8eBV
In the contemporary era, it is often observed that an individual needs to purchase a ticket in order to visit certain museums and art exhibitions. However, sometimes there is no entry fees to visit such places. Personally, I am inclined to the view that the merits outweigh the drawbacks. One of the cogent reasons for charging fees is that it helps the museum management to pay for the maintenance expenses. This means that the authorities would have adequate money to pay the salaries of their employees and to maintain the infrastructure. If museums are maintained, then more people would visit them. As a result, more people would know about their rich culture. For example, Bhagat Singh Memorial, which is a museum where people could see Bhagat Singh's, who was a freedom fighter, clothes and various other items. The manager of the museum revealed in a press conference that they were able to renovate the infrastructure with the collection of entry ticket money. However, the major drawback to charging admission fees is that it would prevent people to visit the museums. If the authorities start charging tickets, then it might decrease the number of people, who visit such places. Individuals would not afford to pay for the visiting passes, Consequently affecting the total number of visitors. For instance, Victoria Memorial, which is situated in Kolkata, witnessed a drop in the total number of individuals, who visited the premises annually after they imposed an entry fee. To conclude, I would like to reiterate that the benefits of an entry fee to museums and art exhibitions prevail over the downsides.
In the contemporary era, it is
often
observed that an individual needs to
purchase
a ticket in order to
visit
certain
museums
and art exhibitions.
However
,
sometimes
there is no
entry
fees
to
visit
such places.
Personally
, I
am inclined
to the view that the merits outweigh the drawbacks.

One of the cogent reasons for charging
fees
is that it
helps
the
museum
management to pay for the maintenance expenses. This means that the authorities would have adequate money to pay the salaries of their employees and to maintain the infrastructure. If
museums
are maintained
, then more
people
would
visit
them.
As a result
, more
people
would know about their rich culture.
For example
,
Bhagat
Singh Memorial, which is a
museum
where
people
could
see
Bhagat
Singh's, who was a freedom fighter, clothes and various other items. The manager of the
museum
revealed in a press conference that they were able to renovate the infrastructure with the collection of
entry
ticket money.

However
, the major drawback to charging admission
fees
is that it would
prevent
people
to
visit
the
museums
. If the authorities
start
charging tickets, then it might decrease the number of
people
, who
visit
such places. Individuals would not afford to pay for the visiting passes,
Consequently
affecting the total number of visitors.
For instance
, Victoria Memorial, which
is situated
in Kolkata, witnessed a drop in the total number of individuals, who visited the premises
annually
after they imposed an
entry
fee.

To conclude
, I would like to reiterate that the benefits of an
entry
fee
to
museums
and art exhibitions prevail over the downsides.
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IELTS essay Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of admission fees outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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