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Many people now a days do not feel safe ether when they are of home or go out. What are the reasons and what can be done to solve this problem?

Many people now a days do not feel safe ether when they are of home or go out. What are the reasons and what can be done to solve this problem? EaDM
It is true that in the current world, many people has safety concern whether they are in their own home or outside. It appears to me that this issue rooted in several factors including lack of proper regulation of laws and lose of moral values and some pragmatic measures could be adopted to solve this problem. If we take present situation into account, we will able to come up with the following reasons. To begin with, lack of laws create an anarchy in the society which are largely responsible for the development of fear in peoples mind. This is mainly because now a days the law regulating bodies including government can be easily bribed. As a consequence victims do not get proper justice and subsequently people lose their trust towards government. For instance, a recent study showed that most of the criminal get parole after few years and then they again involved into crime. In addition, moral value is a crucial thing to maintain a society harmoniously. People do crime when they are morally ill which in turns make innocent people vulnerable and they have fear to live in the society. People scared to live in their home because some type of violent arises dramatically. As people tend to ignore laws along with strict regulation another possible way to create a crime less society is to educated its people morally and teach them what is wrong and what is righteous. In spite of the aforementioned factors, I think the following measures could be taken to tackle this issue effectively. First of all major government agencies should strictly maintain and regulate laws so that people have the feeling of safety. Also a constant surveillance system should developed in order to spot the criminals efficiently. To add to it, a strict punishment for the offenders will also decrease the rate of crime incidents. I think another effective way to tackle this is that teach people ethics at their early age. This will also help reduce crime rate as a consequence people feel safety. So sum up, I think the lack of moral education and absence of laws mainly contribute to the problem. So, if the government take necessary steps people become more relaxed in their home and outside.
It is true that in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
safety concern whether they are in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home or outside. It appears to me that this issue rooted in several factors including lack of proper regulation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and lose of moral values and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pragmatic measures could
be adopted
to solve this problem.

If we take present situation into account, we
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the following reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
create an anarchy in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which are
largely
responsible for the development of fear in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
mind. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
regulating bodies including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can be
easily
bribed. As a consequence victims do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper justice and
subsequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their trust towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
For instance
, a recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that most of the criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
parole after few
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
years and
then they again involved into crime.

In addition
, moral value is a crucial thing to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
harmoniously
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
when they are
morally
ill which in turns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
vulnerable and
they have fear to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
scared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
type of violent arises
dramatically
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
along with strict regulation another possible way to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is to educated its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
morally
and teach them what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and what is righteous.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the aforementioned factors, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the following measures could
be taken
to tackle this issue
effectively
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
agencies should
strictly
maintain and regulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the feeling of safety.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
a constant surveillance system should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "develop"
developed
in order to spot the criminals
efficiently
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to it, a strict punishment for the offenders will
also
decrease the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
incidents.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
another effective way to tackle this is that teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ethics at their early age. This will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate as a consequence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel safety.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the lack of moral education and absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
mainly
contribute to the problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
take necessary steps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more relaxed in their home and outside.
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IELTS essay Many people now a days do not feel safe ether when they are of home or go out. What are the reasons and what can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
376 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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