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Some jobs can pay high salaries but require employees to leave their family and friends. Other jobs pay few salaries but allow employees to stay with family and friends. Which job do you prefer and why?

Some jobs can pay high salaries but require employees to leave their family and friends. Other jobs pay few salaries but allow employees to stay with family and friends. Which job do you prefer and why? 15bYM
Job is a very crucial part of my life. For me it is the only source of money. Some people may believe that the job with higher salaries, which requires staying away from family, is better and others prefer job with fewer salaries, but allows staying with family member. From my vintage point, I concur with the latter group. I would like to give detail explanations about my reasons behind it. First, my family is my top priority, I cannot live without it. My family members mean the whole world to me. If I will earn less money, still I would be happy person with them. I would not enjoy my life without them. A vivid example, which can be given to shed light on the subject is from my own experiences. When I had joined a Pharmaceutical industry for my internship, I lived in New York City alone. It was very tough for me to manage everything by my own. I felt homesickness. Many people were around me in the city, but still I was a lonely person. Even thought, I was earning a huge amount of money, nobody was with me to spend it. I learnt that family is precious god’s gift. On the other hand, I would live with my family; I can share ample of quality time with them. We can enjoy family dinner, family gathering. Moreover, I can pay attention to my kid’s education, take care of my parents and love my husband. Apparently, these all give me more happiness than earning a higher salary. Second, in a difficult situation, I get support from my family. It is easier to face trouble together than alone. Sometime money does not help you in a certain situation. For instance, few years ago my husband met a car accident. He was injured very badly. After taking many medication and rest, he would able to start his work again. Still he had some problem with his hand. He would not able to type in the computer. I helped him to prepare all his project presentations and reports. We all family member helped each other to face this difficult spam together. We needed mental support and mutually understanding from each other. Eventually, with the help of physiotherapy and regular exercise, my husband got his hand control back. Moreover, family makes our life happy by adding different color in it. It does not make sense that we must have to stay far from our own people to earn higher salaries. In sum, trouble becomes smaller, when we have someone to support. To wrap up, I would prefer to earn fewer salaries but want to stay with family members because I can enjoy my life and get support from family. Everyone should stay with family to enjoy reality of a life.
Job is a
very
crucial part of my
life
. For me it is the
only
source of
money
.
Some
people
may believe that the job with higher
salaries
, which requires staying away from
family
, is better
and others
prefer job with fewer
salaries
,
but
allows
staying with
family
member
. From my
vintage point
, I concur with the latter group. I would like to give detail explanations about my reasons behind it.

First
, my
family
is my top priority, I cannot
live
without it. My
family
members
mean the whole world to me. If I
will earn
less
money
,
still
I would be happy person with them. I would not
enjoy
my
life
without them. A vivid example, which can be
given
to shed light on the subject is from my
own
experiences. When I had
joined
a Pharmaceutical industry for my internship, I
lived
in New York City alone. It was
very
tough for me to manage everything by my
own
. I felt homesickness.
Many
people
were around me in the city,
but
still
I was a lonely person. Even
thought
, I was earning a huge amount of
money
, nobody was with me to spend it. I
learnt
that
family
is precious god’s gift. On the
other
hand, I would
live
with my
family
; I can share ample of quality time with them. We can
enjoy
family
dinner,
family
gathering.
Moreover
, I can pay attention to my kid’s education, take care of my parents and
love
my husband.
Apparently
, these all give me more happiness than earning a higher salary.

Second, in a difficult situation, I
get
support from my
family
. It is easier to face trouble together than alone. Sometime
money
does not
help
you in a certain situation.
For instance
, few years ago my husband met a car accident. He
was injured
very
badly
. After taking
many medication
and rest, he
would able
to
start
his work again.
Still
he had
some
problem with his hand. He would not able to type
in the computer
. I
helped
him to prepare all his project presentations and reports. We all
family
member
helped
each
other
to face this difficult spam together. We needed mental support and
mutually
understanding from each
other
.
Eventually
, with the
help
of physiotherapy and regular exercise, my husband
got
his hand control back.
Moreover
,
family
makes
our
life
happy by adding
different
color in it. It does not
make
sense that we
must
have to
stay far from our
own
people
to earn higher
salaries
. In sum, trouble becomes smaller, when we have someone to support.

To wrap up, I would prefer to earn fewer
salaries
but
want to stay with
family
members
because
I can
enjoy
my
life
and
get
support from
family
. Everyone should stay with
family
to
enjoy
reality of a
life
.
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IELTS essay Some jobs can pay high salaries but require employees to leave their family and friends. Other jobs pay few salaries but allow employees to stay with family and friends. Which job do you prefer and why?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
469 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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