Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some individuals believe that it is most effective way for toddlers to be flourished by the whole family, including uncles, aunts and grandparents instead of just parents. According to my opinion, I agree with the given statement. And my preference is justified further.

Some individuals believe that it is most effective way for toddlers to be flourished by the whole family, including uncles, aunts and grandparents instead of just parents. According to my opinion, I agree with the given statement. And my preference is justified further. NRY2
Some individuals believe that it is most effective way for toddlers to be flourished by the whole family, including uncles, aunts and grandparents instead of just parents. According to my opinion, I agree with the given statement. And my preference is justified further. To begin with my opinion and the foremost reason is children gain a lot of knowledge from other members of the family. to be more exact, family members share their experiences with children so, children can learn from them. India, for instance, is a diverse country and in Indian culture, people always prefer to live with whole family. Another prime benefit is children can be flourished precisely by all family members including grandparents and uncles and aunts. Whereas, that is herculean task in single family. To cap it all, children gain more support, if he or she dwell in joint family. Likewise, they get moral as well as financial support from all members of the family. Besides these, children cannot feel alone in joint family. Because almost 6 to 10 person or more are in joint family. Even, they get more enjoyment during festivals, on special occasions, which are not possible in nuclear family. Furthermore, children get assistance from family members during make any decisions, they get suggestions from all and decide precisely. On the other hand, dwell with joint family and grow up by the whole family have few negatives. The first reason is there are chances to conflict between family members. For instance, about choosing a school or curriculum, children acquired a lot of suggestions. If they try to select their parent’s favourite school, their uncle and aunt may sad and another reason is we do not have enough space to live in the house. So, anyone may sacrifice for space and may conflict or leave the house permanently. To conclude, flourish a child in the joint family is more beneficial in terms of get a number of advantages from members of the family. And minor demerits, which are neglected.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that it is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
effective way for toddlers to
be flourished
by the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, including uncles, aunts and grandparents
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
parents. According to my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. And my preference
is justified
further
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with my opinion and the foremost reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
knowledge from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
be more exact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
share their experiences with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn from them. India,
for instance
, is a diverse country and in Indian culture,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Another prime benefit is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be flourished
precisely
by all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
including grandparents and uncles and aunts.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
that is
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Herculean".
herculean
task in single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To cap it all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
gain more support, if he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "dwells", "dwelled", "dwelt".
dwell
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Likewise
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
moral
as well
as financial support from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the family.

Besides
these,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot feel alone in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
almost 6 to 10 person or more are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Even, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more enjoyment during festivals, on special occasions, which are not possible in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
assistance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any decisions, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
suggestions from all and decide
precisely
.

On the other hand
, dwell with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and grow up by the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have few negatives. The
first
reason is there are chances to conflict between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
For instance
, about choosing a school or curriculum,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
acquired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
suggestions. If they try to select their parent’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
school, their uncle and aunt may sad and another reason is we do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, anyone may sacrifice for space and may conflict or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
permanently
.

To conclude
, flourish a child in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is more beneficial in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a number of advantages from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. And minor demerits, which
are neglected
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some individuals believe that it is most effective way for toddlers to be flourished by the whole family, including uncles, aunts and grandparents instead of just parents. According to my opinion, I agree with the given statement. And my preference is justified further.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts