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Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some governments spend a lot of funds training individuals to be successful in sporting events, but a few of the people believe that this money should be spent on things that benefit general public however, to a large extent I disagree with the opinion of people that this money should be spent on something else. Firstly, the essay will talk about the benefits of sports taking into account the historical perspective, secondly it will elucidate with the relevant examples addressing the concern of people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
funds training individuals to be successful in sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this money should
be spent
on things that benefit
Consider using only “public” to avoid wordiness.
general public
however
, to a large extent I disagree with the opinion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that this money should
be spent
on something else.
Firstly
, the essay will talk about the benefits of sports taking into account the historical perspective,
secondly
it will elucidate with the relevant examples addressing the concern of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

IELTS essay Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
84 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.