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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Although many would argue that advertisements introduce new products to us to help improve our lives, I think that advertisement influences us to purchase things that really we do not need. Marketing executives use appealing advertising strategies to influence consumers to purchase their products. An example is the strategy used by supermarkets to attract kids by placing candies and sweets on the lower shelves and near the counters to remind kids about the products. Advertisers also intoduce new product features on their products and sell them to their targeted audiences majorly selling on the differential features which are not usually necessary. For example, the new I phone XS max which is being marketed stunning Super Retina displays, a faster and improved dual camera system that offers breakthrough photo and video features. As a result of these focus on the new features, many people are trying to get the new iphone X max which functions just like its predecessor the iphone X. Another strategy that advertising banks on is mind psychology. Advertisments will promote sle on products and influence the consumer to purchase the products with the notion of buying the product at a more affordable cost. For example, during black friday, most stores will put sale on their products and indicate. 99 prices which plays with the consumers mind to think that the prices are significantly reduced. Consequently, most products are sold during these sales and usually at around the usual cost. In conclusion, our purchasing behaviours and patterns are heavily influenced by many factors including but not limited to advertising strategies used.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would argue that advertisements introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that advertisement influences us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things that
really
we do not need.

Marketing executives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
appealing advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategies
to influence consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. An example is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by supermarkets to attract kids by placing candies and sweets on the lower shelves and near the counters to remind kids about the products.

Advertisers
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
intoduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
features on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and sell them to their targeted audiences
majorly
selling on the differential features which are not
usually
necessary.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
I phone XS max which is
being marketed
stunning Super Retina displays, a faster and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
dual camera system that offers breakthrough photo and video features.
As a result
of these focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
features,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
X max which functions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like its predecessor the
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
X.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
that advertising banks on is mind psychology.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Advertisments
will promote
Possible spelling mistake found.
sle
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and influence the consumer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with the notion of buying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at a more affordable cost.
For example
, during
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
black friday
, most stores will put sale on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and indicate. 99 prices which plays with the consumers mind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the prices are
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Consequently
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are sold
during these sales and
usually
at around the usual cost.

In conclusion
, our purchasing
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviours’ is British English.
behaviours
and patterns are
heavily
influenced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not limited to advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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