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Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

In today's modern world, we all have an unprecedented access to gadgets like computer, I-pad, notebooks, google etc. Using such modern devices have both advantages and disadvantages. Once such important topic that I would like to discuss today is advantages and disadvantages of playing video games in children. The easy access to video games in homes can have a lot of benefits in children of this millennium. During colder weather or during current pandemic, children can remotely play video games with their friends by logging in at same time. They can enjoy game time in safe living rooms and be socially distant, without going outside. It also saves parents a lot of energy in comparison to watching over children play in a park. Parents can condition children to play an evening video game session that has to be followed by a healthy snack like milk and cookies. There also remain a lot of disadvantages of playing video games in children. For example, they can become addicted to playing video games and not give enough time to study. Too much of video games also puts strain on eyes and ears which is not healthy for children while growing up. Another disadvantage is missing on out social interactions which is really important for the overall development of children. I think it is really important to strike a balance of indoor games like video games and outdoor games for children. One way to do that is allowing only 45 mins of video game per day to children. This way they can enjoy a nice game and not be totally addicted.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world, we all have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “unprecedented access”.
an unprecedented access
to gadgets like computer, I-pad, notebooks, google etc. Using such modern devices have both advantages and disadvantages. Once such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
topic that I would like to discuss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is advantages and disadvantages of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in children.

The easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in homes can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of this millennium. During colder weather or during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
remotely
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with their friends by logging in at same time. They can enjoy game time in safe living rooms and be
socially
distant, without going outside. It
also
saves parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energy
in comparison
to watching over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play in a park. Parents can condition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play an evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game session that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be followed
by a healthy snack like milk and cookies.

There
also
remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disadvantages of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, they can become addicted to playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and not give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to study. Too much of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
puts strain on eyes and ears which is not healthy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while growing up. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
is missing on out social interactions which is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
overall
development of children.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to strike a balance of indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. One way to do
that is
allowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
45 mins of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game per day to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This way they can enjoy a nice game and not be
totally
addicted.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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