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In some cultures, Children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? give reasons for advantages and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

Most of the cultures adults always advice their children that they can succeed in any goal by doing it with strong determination. This can be consider as positively as well as negatively. It is good to consider about both sides. More plus points can be seen in this view. As first, parents teach their children to make a clear goal and motivate them by telling that they can achieve by doing hard work as well as determination, so children try to do any thing with huge effort. They think that in the final stage they can reach their success. Contrary, if children were fail in some point, they will try to achieve that target in another strategy moreover, when children always told that they can achieve any thing work in hard, that idea strongly go to the subconscious. So they automatically build up with self assurance as well as self confidence. Consequently, children learn to deal with any problems and they can design any situation without any drought. they trust them selves always. This motivational attitude establish new generation which can make a design of their future. On the other hand minus points are already caveated with this attitude. When parents told their children to that they can achieve anything by doin it hard, they think illegal things also the same. Furthermore, the young can lose their self-confidence for instance, children try to achieve a target in several time in believing magical power of determination, but if they fail in many times. In such situation they become depression and isolated without having help from others. Consequently, this might be cause to series mental breakdown some time, it is ended up with suicidical thoughts. As well as, children can not be able to deal with failure situations. Finally, they can be a negative minded person in society. In conclude my opinion parents and adults should be teach their children to make clear goals in their live as well as face in both successful and failure situations in positive way.
Most of the cultures adults always advice their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that they can succeed in any goal by doing it with strong determination. This can be
Consider using the past participle “considered”.
consider
as
positively
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
negatively
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
Did you mean simply “consider both”? You do not need the word “about” here.
consider about both
sides.

More plus points can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in this view. As
first
, parents teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goal and motivate them by telling that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
by doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as determination,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to do
Did you mean “anything”?
any thing
with huge effort. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in the final stage they can reach their success. Contrary, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were fail in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point, they will try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
that target in another strategy
moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
Did you mean “anything”?
any thing
work in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
strongly
go to the subconscious.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
automatically
build up with
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
self assurance
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
self confidence
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to deal with any
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
they can design any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
without any drought.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
they
trust
Did you mean “themselves”?
them selves
The adverb ‘always’ is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
. This motivational attitude establish new generation which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a design of their future.

On the other hand
minus points are already
Possible spelling mistake found.
caveated
with this attitude. When parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
anything by
Possible spelling mistake found.
doin
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
illegal things
also
the same.
Furthermore
, the young can lose their self-confidence
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
a target in several time in believing magical power of determination,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they fail in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
they become depression and isolated without having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from others.
Consequently
, this might
Did you mean “because”?
be cause
to series mental breakdown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, it
is ended
up with
Possible spelling mistake found.
suicidical
thoughts. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can not be able to deal with failure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
Finally
, they can be a
Make sure that the adjective ‘negative’ is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies ‘minded’. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
negative minded
person in society. In conclude my opinion parents and adults should be
Consider using the past participle “taught”.
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goals in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as face in both successful and failure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, Children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? give reasons for advantages and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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