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Some feel that the traffic may increase by overusing cars. What extent do you agree or disagree.

Some feel that the traffic may increase by overusing cars. What extent pK97a
Nowadays, it is undeniable that traffic is becoming a huge problem in urban areas, whereas this figure has been augmented tremendously for the last ten years. However, some believe that this is occurring dramatically because of rising a high number of cars. I partly agree with this notion, and I will write my views below. On the one hand, it is clear that there is the main factors so that the figure for traffic congestion is a drastic incline due to augmenting cars on roads. One of the main reasons how it is increasing rapidly owing to using personal vehicles. In other words, while a significant number of people may be likely to travel by cars, they can't like to communicate by public transports. As a result, it can be impacted negatively, as well as the the level of traffic might be increased significantly in cities around the world. For example, a study carried out and stated that when the rate for using cars had been inclined drastically in metropolitan areas around the USA since 1998, the figure for traffic was a tremendous augment on the road. Moreover, it can be seen that there is the second main reason why the ratio of traffic is rising sharply due to the lack of interest in public transportations. In addition, it is estimated that because a large number of people can't travel by buses and trains, they can't feel comfortable while traveling by them. Therefore, it may impact badly, as soon as the traffic rate would be risen highly day by day. For instance, research conducted recently and stated that the popularity figure for the government transport had been declined remarkably due to the fact that the level of traffic went up considerably in the UK in 2003. In conclusion, although I consider that increasing traffic jam is really creating by traveling through private cars, I also think that it is a rapid rise by less communicating from buses and trains.
Nowadays, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is becoming a huge problem in urban areas, whereas this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
has
been augmented
tremendously
for the last ten years.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that this is occurring
dramatically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of rising a high number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion, and I will write my views below.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there is the main factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion is a drastic incline due to augmenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on roads. One of the main reasons how it is increasing
rapidly
owing to using personal vehicles.
In other words
, while a significant number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may be likely to travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, they can't like to communicate by public transports.
As a result
, it can
be impacted
negatively
,
as well
as
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
might
be increased
significantly
in cities around the world.
For example
, a study carried out and stated that when the rate for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
had
been inclined
drastically
in metropolitan areas around the USA since 1998, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
was a tremendous augment on the road.

Moreover
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there is the second main reason why the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is rising
sharply
due to the lack of interest in public transportations.
In addition
, it
is estimated
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can't travel by buses and trains, they can't feel comfortable while traveling by them.
Therefore
, it may impact
badly
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
rate would
be risen
highly
day by day.
For instance
, research conducted recently and stated that the popularity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
transport had
been declined
remarkably
due to the fact that the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
went up
considerably
in the UK in 2003.

In conclusion
, although I consider that increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam is
really
creating by traveling through private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a rapid rise by less communicating from buses and trains.
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IELTS essay Some feel that the traffic may increase by overusing cars. What extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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