Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

SOME FEEL GOVERNMENTS, RATHER THAN PRIVATE COMPANIES, SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF MEDICAL SERVICES.

SOME FEEL GOVERNMENTS, RATHER THAN PRIVATE COMPANIES, SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF MEDICAL SERVICES. 9r6wW
It is argued by many that the government should be responsible to provide medical care and services for its citizens instead of relying on private companies. From my perspective, I partially disagree with this school of thought as I believe patients as well as average citizens would reap the most benefits from a joint effort of both parties. In the first place, I would argue that private medical companies can give better care and services than the authorities. A compelling justification is that these companies are driven by financial incentives as well as competition. Therefore, they invest a huge amount of money to derive the most effective drugs and treatment for various illnesses. Meanwhile, the government, often rely on national budget contributed by taxpayers, might not be able to provide the best possible medical services. For instance, in Vietnam, many private hospitals including Hong Ngoc and VinMec are praised for their excellent care and quality of treatment. However, I concur that a collaboration between the government and private companies is the best approach to ensure high quality of treatment for patients. In other words, each party involved should be responsible for an aspect of healthcare. While pharmaceutical companies invest labor and capital into research and development to produce the latest drugs and cure, the authorities can focus on providing health insurance and subsidizing medicine's price so that its citizens could afford. The COVID-19 pandemic perfectly exemplifies this, private companies work tirelessly to derive vaccines at record time, whereas governments across the purchase them and distribute to the general population for a discount price or even free. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the responsibility of giving medical care services should not only lie on the government’s shoulder. It is recommended that private companies should be involved in the R&D while the administration give its effort to ensure the financial incentives for both those organizations and the wellbeing of their citizens.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
instead
of relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. From my perspective, I
partially
disagree with this school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as I believe patients
as well
as average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
would reap the most benefits from a joint effort of both parties.

In the
first
place, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can give better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
than the authorities. A compelling justification is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are driven
by financial incentives
as well
as competition.
Therefore
, they invest a huge amount of money to derive the most effective drugs and treatment for various illnesses. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
rely on national budget contributed by taxpayers, might not be able to provide the best possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
For instance
, in Vietnam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
hospitals including Hong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ngoc
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
VinMec
are praised
for their excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and quality of treatment.

However
, I concur that a collaboration between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is the best approach to ensure high quality of treatment for patients.
In other words
, each party involved should be responsible for an aspect of healthcare. While pharmaceutical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
invest labor and capital into research and development to produce the latest drugs and cure, the authorities can focus on providing health insurance and subsidizing medicine's price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
could afford. The COVID-19 pandemic
perfectly
exemplifies this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
work
tirelessly
to derive vaccines at record time, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
across the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them and distribute to the general population for a discount price or even free.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that the responsibility of giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lie on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
shoulder. It
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
be involved
in the R&D while the administration give its effort to ensure the financial incentives for both those organizations and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay SOME FEEL GOVERNMENTS, RATHER THAN PRIVATE COMPANIES, SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF MEDICAL SERVICES.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • SOME FEEL GOVERNMENTS, RATHER THAN PRIVATE COMPANIES, SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF MEDICAL SERVICES.