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Some family organisation belive that parents with children should get higher salary because higher living costs

Some family organisation belive that parents with children should get higher salary because higher living costs lqjr1
Now I will began my presentation. It can't be denied that we are living in a contemporary era. Living cost is increasing day by day. Living cost and daily expenses is the part and parcel of our daily life. There is no way to avoid this cost to survive. But to afford this must needed cost. Some parents can bear easily with salary and some can't. Specially, the parents who have one or more children, they must pay more that other for their living cost. For accommodation, they need greater space, that's why they have to pay more rent or mortgage from others. And for other costs like food, schooling, clothing and treatments, parents must pay greater amounts of proportionality. Therefore, the claim of family organisation and social organisations, to provide higher salary with parent who have more kids is vary pragmatic and logical When a couple with kids get same or less allowance that only a couple, the life style of those group's become different. Those, the family have more mumbers in their family, they may not meet their daily cost. As a result, they may suffer from inferiority complex, which determine for living normal life and the whole society. The reason is that, when a child who do not get sufficient support for basic needs, he or she does not grow with a fascinating mentality. Which not good to build up a nice and peaceful society. Is this case, parent with kids should get sufficient benefits from the relevant sources. Furthermore, when an employee who have to stay under stress because of his living cost, He or she can't give his best for the company. Consequently, parent with more children should get more salary. So that they can provide their best effort to the production of an organisation which will influence the whole economy of a country. Finally, I'd have to say that the realisation of family organisation is logical. Parents who have one or more children should get more salary and benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "begin"
began
my presentation. It can't
be denied
that we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a contemporary era.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
is increasing day by day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and daily expenses is the part and parcel of our daily life. There is no way to avoid this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
to survive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to afford this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can bear
easily
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
can't.
Specially
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have one or more children, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay more that other for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
. For accommodation, they need greater space, that's why they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more rent or mortgage from others. And for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
like food, schooling, clothing and treatments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay greater amounts of proportionality.
Therefore
, the claim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
and social
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, to provide higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have more kids is
Did you mean "very"?
vary
pragmatic and logical

When a couple with kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
same or less allowance that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a couple, the life style of those
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Please remove the apostrophe if you want to use the plural form of 'group'.
group's
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. Those, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have more
Possible spelling mistake found.
mumbers
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
As a result
, they may suffer from inferiority complex, which determine for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
normal life and the whole society. The reason is that, when a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient support for basic needs, he or she does not grow with a fascinating mentality. Which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to build up a nice and peaceful society. Is this case,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
with kids should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient benefits from the relevant sources.
Furthermore
, when an employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, He or she can't give his best for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
with more children should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
they can provide their best effort to the production of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
which will influence the whole economy of a country.
Finally
, I'd
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'realisation' is British English.
realisation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is logical.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have one or more children should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and benefits.
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IELTS essay Some family organisation belive that parents with children should get higher salary because higher living costs

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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