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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? l2n1
Nowadays, with knowledge of two or three foreign languages, numerous opportunities are available for people for their career as well for their self-development. Plenty of experts argue that the advantages of starting to learn a foreign language at primary school is the best choice for children and it is outweighed disadvantages, and I truly agree with that. On the one hand, knowledge of a foreign language is the crucial point for becoming a perspective person having countless benefits. In wealthy countries, the educational programs include foreign language lessons from primary school. In Scandinavian countries such as Norway or Sweden English is a non-official second national language and the reason is children are learning two languages at the same time. In conclusion, there are a huge number of gorgeous benefits for these people such as well-paid jobs, easy of traveling around the world, communication with other people in other countries and so on. Moreover, it has a positive impact on different branches of the economy helping to develop the country much quicker as well as improve social life. On the other hand, if children spend their spare time on education rather than hang out with their friends it may cause some psychological problems. Teenagers are often becoming less happier or even non-interested in further education. In France, for example, because of that pupils do not want to study foreign languages and prefer to spend time meeting with their friends. As a result, some of them merely can not find a well-paid job in the future. In conclusion, I truly believe that the study of foreign languages at primary school is a glorious idea and more countries should provide that in the educational programs. However, it is also important to remember about giving children as much spare time as they need.
Nowadays, with knowledge of two or three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, numerous opportunities are available for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for their career
as well
for their self-development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Plenty
of experts argue that the advantages of starting to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at primary school is the best choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and it
is outweighed
disadvantages, and I
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that.

On the one hand, knowledge of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is the crucial point for becoming a perspective person having countless benefits. In wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the educational programs include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
lessons from primary school. In Scandinavian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Norway or Sweden English is a non-official second national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and the reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are learning two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, there are a huge number of gorgeous benefits for these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such
as well
-paid jobs, easy of traveling around the world, communication with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Moreover
, it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
branches of the economy helping to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
much quicker
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social life.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on education
rather
than hang out with their friends it may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychological problems.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
becoming
Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean "less happy"?
less happier
or even non-interested in
further
education. In France,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that pupils do not want to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and prefer to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
meeting with their friends.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
merely
can not find a well-paid job in the future.

In conclusion
, I
truly
believe that the study of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
at primary school is a glorious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should provide that in the educational programs.
However
, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to remember about giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as much spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as they need.
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IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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