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some expert believe that it is better for children for to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary School do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Traditionally children have begun learning foreign language at primary level but introducing them earlier is recommended buy many educationalists. It gives an opportunity for children to learn new things. This policy have been adopted by many schools with both positive and negative outcome. I personally think that presenting them to foreign language at primary school is far beneficial than secondary School. Comparatively young people catch things more easily and fastly than teenagers because they are still in the phase of acquiring knowledge. If children start learning foreign language too it wouldn't be much difficult for them to survive in foreign country. Knowing other languages makes a person more confident and bold which makes it easy to communicate with native speakers. However, there are some demerits of studying other languages due to modernization and advancement people are obligated to follow foreign culture and languages which consequently make them to forget their own culture and languages. In spite of being influenced by western culture and traditional we should never ignore own language. Likewise, some school fails to provide skilled teachers to children which results in misleading the language. To sum up, encouraging language learning benefits the society culturally and traditionally.
Traditionally
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children
have begun learning
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foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at primary level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
introducing them earlier
is recommended
Did you mean “by” or “to buy”?
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educationalists. It gives an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn new things. This policy have
been adopted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome.

I
personally
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think
that presenting them to
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foreign
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language
at primary
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school
is far beneficial than secondary
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School
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Comparatively
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
catch things more
easily
and
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fastly
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
still
in the phase of acquiring knowledge. If
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning
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foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
too it wouldn't be much difficult for them to survive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country. Knowing other
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languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person more confident and bold which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy to communicate with native speakers.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits of studying other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
due to modernization and advancement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are obligated
to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
which
consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
being influenced
by western culture and traditional we should never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
fails to provide skilled teachers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which results in misleading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. To sum up, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learning benefits the society
culturally
and
traditionally
.
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IELTS essay some expert believe that it is better for children for to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary School do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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