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Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. n6RAn
Some experts argue that playing musical instruments should be added to the school’s curriculum. In response to this statement, the essay will maintain an impartial stance with learning how to play a musical instrument due to two main reasons. To commence with, children should learn how to play a musical instrument due to the fact that it can improve children’s memory and cognitive skills. Thus, it helps to enhance Math performance as one of the most fundamental subjects in the school’s curriculum. According to extensive research conducted by Harvard University in 2018 on 100 children grade 5 learning to play guitars 2 hours per week and 100 those who not learn to any musical instruments, it indicated that 82/100 students learning to play guitar got scored A compared to 45/100 those who not playing any musical instruments got scored A in the same Math contest. Therefore, children should be taught how to play a musical instrument to enhance studying performance at one’s beginning development stage. On the other hand, learning to play a musical instrument should not be a compulsory subject. To be more specific, being engaged in learning music performances may be expensive as well. For instance, parents must pay for weekly music lessons, books, rehearsals or concerts, costumes, examination fees, or musical instruments. Thus, not all families can facilitate or afford their offspring’s musical instrument pursuits. In conclusion, this essay has provided an argument for an impartial stance concerning teaching musical performance at schools: on the one hand, playing a musical instrument could be beneficial in children’s brain function improvement; on the other hand, it should be an elective subject depends on parent’s financial resources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts argue that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the school’s curriculum. In response to this statement, the essay will maintain an impartial stance with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
due to two main reasons.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
due to the fact that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
memory and cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to enhance Math
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
as one of the most fundamental subjects in the school’s curriculum. According to extensive research conducted by Harvard University in 2018 on 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grade 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
guitars 2 hours per week and 100 those who not learn to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
, it indicated that 82/100 students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
guitar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
scored A compared to 45/100 those who not playing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
scored A in the same Math contest.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
to enhance studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
at one’s beginning development stage.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
should not be a compulsory subject. To be more specific,
being engaged
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
may be expensive
as well
.
For instance
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay for weekly music lessons, books, rehearsals or concerts, costumes, examination fees, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
.
Thus
, not all families can facilitate or afford their offspring’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
pursuits.

In conclusion
, this essay has provided an argument for an impartial stance concerning teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
at schools: on the one hand, playing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
could be beneficial in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
brain function improvement;
on the other hand
, it should be an elective subject depends on parent’s financial resources.
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IELTS essay Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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