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The brightest star in the sky

The brightest star in the sky xm2Ay
My name is Gary Gu, I’m a grade 11 student from Lord Byng, and I’m running for internal VP. In my spare time, I debate, play basketball, DJ and take photos. I like to do things differently. I am decisive, weird, optimistic, confident. I’m the current project leader for our VanFam project. I’m suitable for internal VP because I have been a part of Y2Y since the very beginning. I witnessed the growth and expansion of Y2Y throughout the year. However, following our impressive rapid growth, there are a lot of problems that we need to overcome. Under the status quo the club is operating, but it is not operating efficiently and achieving our full potential, mainly because we have a lot of internal issues. For example, tasks and roles assigned to the group members are vague. When we hosted the symposium, some group members didn’t have anything to do while others had to maintain a heavy workload, we did assigned everyone to search for resource. But how? What specific way that we can help our group members to attain resource, how well did the group member actually execute it? Is there any follow up by leaders? “No” I’ve had group member asking me what is the symposium about two weeks before it taking place. The detachment between leaders and ordinary group members within our club ultimately lead to the not so pleasant ending to our symposium. Albert Einstein said that "Failure is success in progress”. It is not embarrassing to make mistakes, but it is embarrassing to not learn from our mistakes that we made. As a Youth2Youth Veteran and from my experience working with other members of the club knowing each member’s personalities and strength and weaknesses. I would ensure every member of Y2Y gets an opportunity to shine and achieve their goal as individual and team. 1st I will create detail operation plan on projects, including rationale, feasibility of project and challenge that we may face. 2nd I will follow up on every group member that I have assign task to, make sure they are in a position where they feel comfortable, happy and motivated. 3rd I want to make Youth2Youth a cohesive piece of cohort, and I want to create a safe and fun atmosphere for everyone like a family. To do this we need to enhance our team chemistry, this can be done by organizing internal activities inside our group every two weeks such as field trip (after covid) online gaming, (mafia, scribble. io) and snack parties( after covid). I want to ensure every member of Youth2Youth feel they belong here. 4th I would strongly encourage discussion and ideas from everyone because we need opinion from different perspective to formulate a decision. I noticed some group members are shy and if they feel uncomfortable sharing in the group chat. I also would be willing to listen to their opinion and have conversation with them through private DM. In conclusion, please vote for me because I aim to increase team chemistry, create safe and interesting working environment, assign and distribute tasks reasonably. Supervise and help members to execute tasks efficiently.
My name is Gary
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gu
, I’m a grade 11 student from Lord
Possible spelling mistake found.
Byng
, and I’m running for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
VP.

In my spare time, I debate, play basketball, DJ and take photos. I like to do things
differently
. I am decisive, weird, optimistic, confident.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’m the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
leader for our
Possible spelling mistake found.
VanFam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’m suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
VP
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have been a part of Y2Y since the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beginning.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
witnessed the growth and expansion of Y2Y throughout the year.
However
, following our impressive rapid growth, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems that we need to overcome. Under the status quo the club is operating,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not operating
efficiently
and achieving our full potential,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
issues.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
and roles assigned to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are vague. When we hosted the symposium,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
didn’t have anything to do while others had to maintain a heavy workload, we did
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "assign"
assigned
everyone to search for resource.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
how? What specific way that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to attain resource, how well did the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
actually execute it? Is there any follow up by leaders?

“No” I’ve had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
asking me what is the symposium about two weeks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it taking place. The detachment between leaders and ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
within our club
ultimately
lead to the not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
pleasant ending to our symposium. Albert Einstein said that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Failure is success in progress”. It is not embarrassing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is embarrassing to not learn from our mistakes that we made. As a Youth2Youth Veteran and from my experience working with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the club knowing each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member’s
personalities and strength and weaknesses. I would ensure every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of Y2Y
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
an opportunity to shine and achieve their goal as individual and team.

1st I will create detail operation plan on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
, including rationale, feasibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
and challenge that we may face.

2nd I will follow up on every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
that I have assign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
to,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they are in a position where they feel comfortable, happy and motivated.

3rd I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Youth2Youth a cohesive piece of cohort, and I want to create a safe and fun atmosphere for everyone like a family. To do this we need to enhance our team chemistry, this can
be done
by organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
activities inside our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
every two weeks such as field trip (after
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
) online gaming, (mafia, scribble.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
io
) and snack parties
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
after
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
). I want to ensure every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of Youth2Youth feel they belong here.

4th I would
strongly
encourage discussion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
from everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we need opinion from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective to formulate a decision. I noticed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are shy and if they feel uncomfortable sharing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
chat. I
also
would be willing to listen to their opinion and have conversation with them through private DM.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
vote for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I aim to increase team chemistry, create safe and interesting working environment, assign and distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
reasonably
. Supervise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to execute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
efficiently
.
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IELTS essay The brightest star in the sky

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
524 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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