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some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument.

some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. E9deb
Children’s education is always a important topic in our society. It is believed by some educational experts that it is essential for children to learn how to play a musical instrument. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this idea because of some following reasons. The first one is that playing musical instruments could help children relieve stress and mental issues. Some students, who have an emotional problem from school or home, are recommended relaxation approach including learning how to play an instrument because it has a unique effect on their emotions and has even been proven to lower heart rate and blood pressure. Therefore, if students learn to play one, it would help them avoid some diseases such as anxiety or panic attacks. Another advantage of learning instruments is it provides young children with many invaluable life skills. Firstly, music teaches perseverance and creates a sense of achievement. It is undeniable that learning to play an instrument takes a lot of time, patience, and practice. When the child reaches their goals during their music lessons, they will feel a sense of achievement and fulfillment. Furthermore, learning musical instruments improves social skills. Playing an instrument enables children to expand their social circle. Joining a musical group at an early age encourages them to develop relationships with other peers from different backgrounds. It also builds leadership and team-building skills and helps them understand the significance of teamwork. In conclusion, I am fairly certain that teaching children to play musical instruments is a positive idea due to the various benefits that can be brought upon them, both mentally and socially.
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Children’s
education is always
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
topic in our society. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational experts that it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
following reasons.

The
first
one is that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and mental issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
students, who have an emotional problem from school or home,
are recommended
relaxation approach including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a unique effect on their emotions and has even
been proven
to lower heart rate and blood pressure.
Therefore
, if students learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
one, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases such as anxiety or panic attacks.

Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
is it provides young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
invaluable life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Firstly
, music teaches perseverance and creates a sense of achievement. It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time, patience, and practice. When the child reaches their goals during their music lessons, they will feel a sense of achievement and fulfillment.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Playing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to expand their social circle. Joining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
group at an early age encourages them to develop relationships with other peers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds. It
also
builds leadership and team-building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them understand the significance of teamwork.

In conclusion
, I am
fairly
certain that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
due to the various benefits that can
be brought
upon them, both mentally and
socially
.
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IELTS essay some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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