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Exposure to international media, such as films, TV and magazines, has an impact on the local culture. What do you think of these impacts?

Exposure to international media, such as films, TV and magazines, has an impact on the local culture. What do you think of these impacts? GWJyg
Nowadays, media plays a vital role in everyone's day to day life. In fact around 22% of the people tend to get influenced by the media such as magazines, social apps, Televisions. This has both positive and negative impacts. Talking about one side of the spectrum, people get educated and find it useful because of the exposure to international media. Infact, most of the people get to know about the practises followed in different cultures, as to how they celebrate a specific festival, what and why do they follow these stuffs. People who work in IT Industry get exposed to plethora of festivals. They get to work closely to different countries cu; ture and have an opportunity to know the festivals. One such example is celebrating Hallowen in India. Another influential media forms is Films where people show different cultures so that people have a chance to watch them. On the other hand, people get more influenced because of these films, making them more pessimistic. There is an old saying that when black cats crosses us before we go out, it is said to give a negative vibes and people stop going out for that day. This is one such example as to how people belive in superstitions which are projected in films. Also there are some commercial ads shown in televisions which gives discount on products for every festivals. Sometimes people forget about the festival and for the sake of discount they buy all the items which are shown in advertisements. This injects negative impacts on people's mind rather than positive things. As we are aware of a saying, anything is good as long as it dont crosses the limits. Therefore, as far as people take only the good things all these entertainements are appreciated.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays a vital role in everyone's
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life. In fact around 22% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as magazines, social apps, Televisions. This has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.

Talking about one side of the spectrum,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educated and find it useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the exposure to international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the
Possible spelling mistake. 'practises' is British English.
practises
followed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, as to how they celebrate a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
, what and why do they follow these stuffs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who work in IT Industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work
closely
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries cu;
Possible spelling mistake found.
ture
and have an opportunity to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
. One such example is celebrating
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hallowen
in India. Another influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
forms is Films where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more influenced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these films, making them more pessimistic. There is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying that when black cats crosses us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we go out, it
is said
to give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
vibes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
going out for that day. This is one such example as to how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
in superstitions which
are projected
in films.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commercial ads shown in televisions which gives discount on products for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "festival"?
festivals
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
and for the sake of discount they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the items which
are shown
in advertisements. This injects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things.

As we are aware of a saying, anything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as long as it
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
crosses the limits.
Therefore
, as far as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things all these
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertainements
are appreciated
.
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IELTS essay Exposure to international media, such as films, TV and magazines, has an impact on the local culture. What do you think of these impacts?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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