Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some educational systems make students study specialised subjects from the age of fifteen while others require students to study a wide range. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some educational systems make students study specialised subjects from the age of fifteen while others require students to study a wide range. xWP1
Specialized subjects are considered to be essential in some educational systems and require students to start studying those from the age of fifteen while there are some that give preference to a variety of subjects. In this essay, I will discusss both the sides and give my opinion. Studying a specific group of advanced subject proves beneficial for students later on and it helps them build focus. The time which would be spent studying other electives is eliminated and more time can be invested on one particular subject. For instance, Medical students require their focus on Science subjects so when they enter university life they already are aware on what to expect. Furthermore, less pressure is exerted on students by reducing the burden of unneccesry subjects which wont be beneficial to them in the long run. While on the other hand, some educational bodies believe it is better to expose students to a wide variety of subjects for their knowledge and mental well being. Because extra subjects like, music and art can be exciting and fascinating to some students and are a source of relaxation after studying difficult ssubjects. Moreover, a study conducted in UK revealed that students performed better overall when given a variety of subjects rather than focusing on a particular domain. After discussing both the views, I believe that its essssential to keep the minds of students at ease and exert less pressure by introducing a variety of subjects, as this can lead to burdening which can result in students not performing well at all.
Specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are considered
to be essential in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational systems and require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
studying those from the age of fifteen while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that give preference to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
variety
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. In this essay, I will
Possible spelling mistake found.
discusss
both the sides and give my opinion.

Studying a specific group of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
proves beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
later on and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them build focus. The time which would
be spent
studying other electives
is eliminated
and more time can
be invested
on one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
For instance
, Medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
require their focus on Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they enter university life they already are aware on what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
.
Furthermore
, less pressure
is exerted
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by reducing the burden of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unneccesry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
be beneficial to them in the long run.

While
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational bodies believe it is better to expose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to a wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
variety
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for their knowledge and mental
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like, music and art can be exciting and fascinating to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and are a source of relaxation after studying difficult
Possible spelling mistake found.
ssubjects
.
Moreover
, a study conducted in UK revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
performed better
overall
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
variety
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than focusing on a particular domain.

After discussing both the views, I believe that its
Possible spelling mistake found.
essssential
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the minds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and exert less pressure by introducing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
variety
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, as this can lead to burdening which can result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not performing well at all.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some educational systems make students study specialised subjects from the age of fifteen while others require students to study a wide range.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts