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Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced ? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? DlV06
In contemporary era, people are confined with working hours. A law has been introduced by fixing a common working hours for each and every individual. I strongly believe that it is a positive development. The reason behind my opinion are portrayed in subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, there has been drastic increase in working hours in some developing countries. Employer had pushed their employees to work hard and longer in same expenditure than normal shifts. The primary motive was to increase production. However this led to severe health problems. They are facing immense pressure to meet targets that's the reason government introduced law in working hours. Newly introduced law have substantial effect on workers performance and health. They have become more responsible and productive. The quality of the work also increased after applying law. Individuals have become more dedicated towards their work. Moreover, people health conditions have significantly improved. They have more time for themselves and their family. This helped them to reduce stress and tension. Additionally time also provides them to be socially active. Furthermore they can even invest their time in study. Though people can work and study as well. To sum up, I would like to say that excessive works from workers have detrimental effects on their pshycological health. Limiting work hours well bring several changes in their lifestyle that would lead them towards better and successful life.
In contemporary era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are confined
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
has
been introduced
by fixing a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hour"?
hours
for each and every individual. I
strongly
believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. The reason behind my opinion
are portrayed
in subsequent paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there has been drastic increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. Employer had pushed their employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and longer in same expenditure than normal shifts. The primary motive was to increase production.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this led to severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. They are facing immense pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
targets that's the reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
introduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Newly
introduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
have substantial effect on workers performance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. They have become more responsible and productive. The quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
also
increased after applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
. Individuals have become more dedicated towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions have
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. They have more time for themselves and their family. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
time
also
provides them to be
socially
active.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
they can even invest their time in study. Though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and study
as well
. To sum up, I would like to say that excessive works from workers have detrimental effects on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
pshycological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
well bring several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their lifestyle that would lead them towards better and successful life.
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IELTS essay Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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