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Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime . Many people think that having more police on the street is the only key to reduce crime . To what extend do you agree?

One of the most conspicuous trends of today has seen a colossal surge in the belief that many nations are facing lot of difficulties after rapid growth in crime which is, however contradicted by others with the fact that, increasing number of cops on the road is the only key to detract crime. I, hereby do not totally agree with the statement as there are numerous action which i will elaborate in the below paragraphs. There are a deluge of many arguments in the favor of my stance. The most preponderant one is that, it is not only responsibility of a government to take hard actions on the criminal but also it is responsibility of an individual to be aware from these crimes. however, government should runs awareness programs among the citizens so that, they can use that techniques when they became part of a crime. In addition to it, authorities should implement cctv cameras on every street in order to to reduce crime activities. However, this will not easy for police for assess every movement on one screen but also beneficial for the local residents. For instance, a research was conducted on volunteers in the u. s. a reveled that, around 40 % of volunteers implements these safety laws in order to prevent crime. Another pivotal fact of this argument is that, when it comes to an individual security so it could be the responsibility of management to provide then basic facilities so they can not only feel safe but also spend their life in a comfort way. Moreover, having more police in the societies creates peace as well as satisfaction whereas, this will led to impact on the growth of crime. To exemplify, an article was published in the local magazine 'the time' in the u. k mentioned that 28%of crime growth were reduced after the presence of cops To conclude, in view of the argument outlined above, one can insist upon the fact that, majority of police and strict laws are the two roads that runs along and are interconnected, thus these can together solve the problem
One of the most conspicuous trends of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a colossal surge in the belief that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations are facing
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
difficulties after rapid growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
which is,
however
contradicted by others with the fact that, increasing number of cops on the road is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
key to detract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. I, hereby do not
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement as there are numerous action which
Did you mean "I"?
i
will elaborate in the below paragraphs. There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "deluges"?
deluge
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments in the favor of my stance. The most preponderant one is that, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
responsibility of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
actions on the criminal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is responsibility of an individual to be aware from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "run"
runs
awareness programs among the citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that techniques when they became part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
In addition
to it, authorities should implement
Possible spelling mistake found.
cctv
cameras on every street in order
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
activities.
However
, this will not easy for police for assess every movement on one screen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
beneficial for the local residents.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
was conducted
on volunteers in the u. s. a reveled that, around 40 % of volunteers implements these safety laws in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
crime.

Another pivotal fact of this argument is that, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to an individual security
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it could be the responsibility of management to provide then basic facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
feel safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
spend their life in a comfort way.
Moreover
, having more police in the societies creates peace
as well
as satisfaction whereas, this will led to impact on the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. To exemplify, an article
was published
in the local magazine 'the time' in the u. k mentioned that 28%of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
growth were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
after the presence of cops
To conclude
, in view of the argument outlined above, one can insist upon the fact that, majority of police and strict laws are the two roads that runs along and
are interconnected
,
thus
these can together solve the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problem
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IELTS essay Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the street is the only key to reduce crime.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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