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Some countries are importing food from overseas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries are importing food from overseas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? jVJAy
In recent years, trading goods is enjoying an upsurge of popularity. Hence, many countries are importing foods from foreign countries. In this essay I am going to discuss the advantages and disadvantages then give my own opinion on the matter. This paragraph revolves around the benefits from importing. First of all, the diversity and the quality will be motivated by nations who import foods from other ones. Therefore, customers could purchase goods with numerous native brands in Vinmart, supermarket and Circle K. Moreover, regions importing foods totally develop the economy, expand the job opportunity for jobless people. For instance, customers usually gravitate towards overseas goods so the quantity they sell is in direct ratio to the profit they obtain. On the other hand, the disadvantages are associated with the environment. Almost all goods are transported via ship or plane so people have to use chemicals such as preservatives. This kind of substance has a huge impact on our atmosphere, It can cause soil pollution and water pollution. As a result, exhaust fume from transport not only cause air pollution but also impact on people's health. It is worth noting that the price will be pushed up when a country has a large number of brands and It will compete. People believe that the fancy price parrabel with the quality, it means the products are exorbitant and will be good at quality. According to an estimate, 60% of urban dwellers buy a foreign fruit such as American apples, Australian oranges because of this origin, although this product is always expensive. However, they do not know exactly how fresh it is. In conclusion, I think all products have their own quality and perks. People always cultivate their measures to increase productivity so each food often brings people a new feel not only overseas foods.
In recent years, trading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is enjoying an upsurge of popularity.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from foreign countries. In this essay I am going to discuss the advantages and disadvantages then give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion on the matter.

This paragraph revolves around the benefits from importing.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the diversity and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
will
be motivated
by nations who import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from other ones.
Therefore
, customers could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
with numerous native brands in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinmart
, supermarket and Circle K.
Moreover
, regions importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
totally
develop the economy, expand the job opportunity for jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, customers
usually
gravitate towards overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the quantity they sell is in direct ratio to the profit they obtain.

On the other hand
, the disadvantages
are associated
with the environment. Almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are transported
via ship or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
chemicals such as preservatives. This kind of substance has a huge impact on our atmosphere, It can cause soil pollution and water pollution.
As a result
, exhaust fume from transport not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause air pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.

It is worth noting that the price will
be pushed
up when a country has
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
brands and It will compete.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe that the fancy price
Possible spelling mistake found.
parrabel
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
, it means the products are exorbitant and will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
. According to an estimate, 60% of urban dwellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a foreign fruit such as American apples, Australian oranges
because of this
origin, although this product is always expensive.
However
, they do not know exactly how fresh it is.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
all products have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and perks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
always cultivate their measures to increase productivity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a new feel not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
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IELTS essay Some countries are importing food from overseas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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