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Some companies spend a lot of money on scientific research and use animals for testing. Do the advantages of using animals in research outweigh its disadvantages?

Some companies spend a lot of money on scientific research and use animals for testing. Do the advantages of using animals in research outweigh its disadvantages? 25b3w
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on animal rights, especially experiments tested on animals. Although the drawbacks of conducting animal experimentation to do scientific research are varied, in my opinion, it still brings more significant benefits. On the one hand, some people have arguments that testing on animals for scientific purposes is disadvantageous in some aspects. In terms of subjects of experiments, it is believed that animals have to suffer many pains since they are given an illness so that their reactions can be used to measure the effectiveness of a new drug. However, benefits to humans are not justifiable enough to cause that level of suffering for animals, so humans have no rights to subject animals to such kinds of trauma. Besides, giving humans the privilege to decide the lives of other species can somehow kindle the evil and cruelty inside them, making society full of inhumane and immoral people as well as putting many animals at risk of becoming threatened. On the other hand, I hold a firm belief that the advantages of animal testing remain irreplaceable, outweighing the mentioned drawbacks. In particular, there is an irrefutable fact that carrying experiments on animals can contribute significantly to billions of human lives being saved. This can be exemplified by many surgical techniques such as open-heart surgery or heart transplants were developed through using animals. Besides, animals can act as a model for the study of human diseases since they and humans share hundreds of illnesses. As a consequence, the use of animals for experiments can provide a great deal of relevant knowledge of the body’s functions, and many of the new drugs being marketed today were in part created thanks to this process. In conclusion, I am more convinced that the disadvantages of conducting experiments on animals are surpassed by the aforementioned advantages as these approaches make great contributions to the well-being of the public.
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has
been placed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Although the drawbacks of conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
experimentation to do scientific research
are varied
, in my opinion, it
still
brings more significant benefits.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have arguments that testing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for scientific purposes is disadvantageous in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects. In terms of subjects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pains since they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an illness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their reactions can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to measure the effectiveness of a new drug.
However
, benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are not justifiable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cause that level of suffering for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have no rights to subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to such kinds of trauma.
Besides
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
the privilege to decide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of other species can somehow kindle the evil and cruelty inside them, making society full of inhumane and immoral
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
as putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of becoming threatened.

On the other hand
, I hold a firm belief that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
testing remain irreplaceable, outweighing the mentioned drawbacks.
In particular
, there is an irrefutable fact that carrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can contribute
significantly
to billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
being saved
. This can
be exemplified
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
surgical techniques such as open-heart surgery or heart transplants
were developed
through using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can act as a model for the study of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
diseases since they and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
share hundreds of illnesses. As a consequence, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
can provide a great deal of relevant knowledge of the body’s functions, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the new drugs
being marketed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
were in part created thanks to this process.

In conclusion
, I am more convinced that the disadvantages of conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are surpassed
by the aforementioned advantages as these approaches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
great contributions to the well-being of the public.
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IELTS essay Some companies spend a lot of money on scientific research and use animals for testing. Do the advantages of using animals in research outweigh its disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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