Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planed activities.

Some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planed activities. GWw2m
In today's world, kids are more likely to consume their leisure point in action such as music and painting class or be a member of a particular club. Although this kind of action helps them to grow in a special field, it is necessary to regard the adverse aspect of fulling kids' point like this. Mainly, if you consider the renowned people like Mozart or Newton who are well-known for their great accomplishments and hard work and start to read their biographies, obviously they all first started their work as a hobby. Therefore, for youngsters who are not interested in the action and do it due to the fact their parents ask or pressure them, they merely waste their childhood in stress and anxiety. Children must enjoy the action and do it by heart, in consequence, they can grow well and accomplish great feats, which means no wasting childhood, point, and money. In another view, youth must have their complimentary point to be themselves, think and read, also, they need to play without any plan that causes numerous limitations and also makes them aggressive. They need to use their free time like this in light of the fact that their mental health can grow and have an excellent function. Also, children should have complimentary second to consume it with their siblings, parents, and grandparents, in result it can help them to improve their emotional intelligence, and they will be a kind and communicator people in their future life. Finally, parents must give their kids space and opportunities to choose their favorite action, in light of the fact that it helps them to save money and have a happy child, and also allow them to waste the rest of their complimentary second without any plans.
In
today
's world, kids are more likely to consume their leisure
point
in
action
such as music and painting
class
or be a member of a particular club. Although this kind of
action
helps
them to grow in a special field, it is necessary to regard the adverse aspect of fulling kids'
point
like this.

Mainly
, if you consider the renowned
people
like Mozart or Newton who are well-known for their great accomplishments and
hard
work and
start
to read their biographies,
obviously
they all
first
started
their work as a hobby.
Therefore
, for youngsters who are not interested in the
action
and do it due to the fact their parents ask or pressure them, they
merely
waste their childhood in
stress
and anxiety. Children
must
enjoy the
action
and do it by heart, in consequence, they can grow well and accomplish great feats, which means no wasting childhood,
point
, and money.

In another view, youth
must
have their complimentary
point
to be themselves,
think
and read,
also
, they need to play without any plan that causes numerous limitations and
also
makes
them aggressive. They need to
use
their free time like this in light of the fact that their mental health can grow and have an excellent function.
Also
, children should have complimentary second to consume it with their siblings, parents, and grandparents, in result it can
help
them to
improve
their emotional intelligence, and they will be a kind and communicator
people
in their future life.

Finally
, parents
must
give their kids space and opportunities to choose their favorite
action
, in light of the fact that it
helps
them to save money and have a happy child, and
also
allow
them to waste the rest of their complimentary second without any plans.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some children spend most of their free time taking part in clubs and other planed activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic: