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Some businesses find that new employees finishing education lack basic interpersonal ability such as working with others as a part of a team. What do you think are the causes of this problem? How to solve this problem?

Some businesses find that new employees finishing education lack basic interpersonal ability such as working with others as a part of a team. What do you think are the causes of this problem? How to solve this problem? 2rE1X
In recent decades, working skills have been more and more essential in the workplaces as people are getting busier with their extremely heavy workloads or hetic schedules. However, it is said that the former students are suffering from the shortage of teamwork in their career. This matter is caused by various different reasons which will be discussed in this essay before the solutions to it are given. First of all, it is crystal clear that the vast majority of schools like highschools or secondary ones only teach students theoretical lessons. Moreover, there are a great deal of resources from internet or e-books such as Wattpad and means of computers and social networks, for example: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. nowadays which might help learners improve their self-learning skill well and learn how to deal with an issue by the themselves. As a reult, those who have the mentality of accomplishing their study indepently may form a habit from working alone and have to face the lack of teamworking skill. So as to tackle this problem, it is advisable that the curricula and teaching method should be restructured and reformed in order to enhance the working in team and also their overall performance at work more effectively. The second reason is because of the super competitive environment that the graduates used to have when they were in schools. What is more, to make themselves outstanding enough to be chosen and superior to others, they are forced to outperform their rivals rather than establish teamwork no matter how unprecedented hardships they get. In addition, in a company, the culprit precluding those newcomers from being productive in a working team and it may affect their working efficiency and the struggle with their lives inside the intensely competitive surroundings is becoming stressful. However, for the purpose of solving this issue, companies or organizations should encourage people who are both amateurs and veterans to cooperate and give them advices about the benefits of working together. In conclusion, this complicated problem is caused by many reasons, therefore, it is difficult to find out the suitable solutions. Nevertheless, in my opinion, the above-metioned measures would be helpful.
In recent decades,
working
skills
have been more and more essential in the workplaces as
people
are getting busier with their
extremely
heavy workloads or
hetic
schedules.
However
, it
is said
that the former students are suffering from the shortage of teamwork in their career. This matter
is caused
by various
different
reasons which will
be discussed
in this essay
before
the solutions to it are
given
.

First of all
, it is crystal
clear
that the vast majority of schools like
highschools
or secondary ones
only
teach students theoretical lessons.
Moreover
, there are a great
deal
of resources from internet or e-books such as Wattpad and means of computers and social networks,
for example
: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. nowadays which might
help
learners
improve
their self-learning
skill
well and learn how to deal with an issue by
the themselves
. As a
reult
, those who have the mentality of accomplishing their study
indepently
may form a habit from
working
alone and
have to
face the lack of
teamworking
skill
.
So as to
tackle this problem, it is advisable that the curricula and teaching method should
be restructured
and reformed in order to enhance the
working
in team and
also
their
overall
performance at work more
effectively
.

The second reason is
because
of the super competitive environment that the graduates
used
to have when they were in schools.
What is more
, to
make
themselves outstanding
enough
to
be chosen
and superior to others, they
are forced
to outperform their rivals
rather
than establish teamwork no matter how unprecedented hardships they
get
.
In addition
, in a
company
, the culprit precluding those newcomers from being productive in a
working
team and it may affect their
working
efficiency and the struggle with their
lives
inside the
intensely
competitive surroundings is becoming stressful.
However
, for the purpose of solving this issue,
companies
or organizations should encourage
people
who are both amateurs and veterans to cooperate and give them advices about the benefits of
working
together.

In conclusion
, this complicated problem
is caused
by
many
reasons,
therefore
, it is difficult to find out the suitable solutions.
Nevertheless
, in my opinion, the
above-metioned
measures would be helpful.
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IELTS essay Some businesses find that new employees finishing education lack basic interpersonal ability such as working with others as a part of a team. What do you think are the causes of this problem? How to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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