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People have different views about disparities in the types of job compatible for males or females. The majority of people are commonly believed that men make houses, women make homes. From my point of view, I strongly disagree with this position.

People have different views about disparities in the types of job compatible for males or females. The majority of people are commonly believed that men make houses, women make homes. From my point of view, I strongly disagree with this position. XVJKg
It is clear that both male and female have qualities which play a crucial part in bringing up and educating their children. If childcare is a specific female role, the child only receives love from the mother. Lack of strong character is a common factor of kids when the father has no time to attend to their kid’s life. Take playing outdoor activities as an example, the absence of the father can make the children less developed or improve health and skills. On the other hand, nowadays women can show great versatility in various jobs. They can balance between work and home time. They can continue to focus on their careers without any affection on family life. Therefore, both men and women need to be responsible for their family, not just the woman In short, it is important that men and women share childcare duties because both genders have important qualities and skills.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that both male and female have qualities which play a crucial part in bringing up and educating their children. If childcare is a specific female role, the child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
receives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from the mother. Lack of strong character is a common factor of kids when the father has no time to attend to their kid’s life. Take playing outdoor activities as an example, the absence of the father can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the children less developed or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, nowadays women can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
great versatility in various jobs. They can balance between work and home time. They can continue to focus on their careers without any affection on family life.
Therefore
, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women need to be responsible for their family, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the woman

In short, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women share childcare duties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both genders have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
qualities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

IELTS essay People have different views about disparities in the types of job compatible for males or females. The majority of people are commonly believed that men make houses, women make homes. From my point of view, I strongly disagree with this position.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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