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Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. bkLP
It is widely believed, that Olympic games tend to make most of nation be close to each other. However, some people disagree with this statement due to the fact, as more valuable fields could be invested. In this essay, I will concentrate on both sides and give my view and support it with examples. To begin with, one of the main positives is that, it would be am excellent opportunity for states to become popular. Olympic games gather different nations and the place, where people can represent their countries. The participant will be able to participate in various competitions, compete for the championship and bring glory and pride to their homeland. To illustrate, Russia is known as a country where figure skating is highly developed owing to the large number of victories won by skaters at various international games. On an another hand, one of the major issue, that it could be waste of money. It is better to direct these investments in a more appropriate direction, such as improving medicine and education. There is an argument, In many cases, the organization of such events tend to take a lot of money. As an illustration, Russia spent 324. 9 billion rubles on the preparation and holding of the Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games in Sochi, according to calculations conducted by the Accounting Chamber of Russia. It is widely believed, that Olympic games tend to make most of nation be close to each other. However, some people disagree with this statement due to the fact, as more valuable fields could be invested. In this essay, I will concentrate on both sides and give my view and support it with examples. To begin with, one of the main positives is that, it would be am excellent opportunity for states to become popular. Olympic games gather different nations and the place, where people can represent their countries. The participant will be able to participate in various competitions, compete for the championship and bring glory and pride to their homeland. To illustrate, Russia is known as a country where figure skating is highly developed owing to the large number of victories won by skaters at various international games. On an another hand, one of the major issue, that it could be waste of money. It is better to direct these investments in a more appropriate direction, such as improving medicine and education. There is an argument, In many cases, the organization of such events tend to take a lot of money. As an illustration, Russia spent 324. 9 billion rubles on the preparation and holding of the Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games in Sochi, according to calculations conducted by the Accounting Chamber of Russia. All things considered, There can be some positives and negatives. In my opinion, Olympic games is enough reasonable reason to be invested. as it might opportunities for countries to get famous and attract tourists. All things considered, There can be some positives and negatives. In my opinion, Olympic games is enough reasonable reason to be invested. as it might opportunities for countries to get famous and attract tourists.
It is
widely
believed, that Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
be close to each other.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with this statement due to the fact, as more valuable fields could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invested
. In this essay, I will concentrate on both sides and give my view and support it with examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positives
is that, it would be
Consider using the past participle "been"?
am
excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for states to become popular. Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
gather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and the place, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can represent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The participant will be able to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
competitions, compete for the championship and bring glory and pride to their homeland. To illustrate, Russia
is known
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where figure skating is
highly
developed owing to the large number of victories won by skaters at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
international games.

On
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a hand" or "another hand".
an another hand
, one of the major issue, that it could be waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It is better to direct these investments in a more appropriate direction, such as improving medicine and education. There is an argument, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, the organization of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. As an illustration, Russia spent 324. 9 billion rubles on the preparation and holding of the Olympic and Paralympic Winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
in Sochi, according to calculations conducted by the Accounting Chamber of Russia. It is
widely
believed, that Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
be close to each other.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with this statement due to the fact, as more valuable fields could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invested
. In this essay, I will concentrate on both sides and give my view and support it with examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positives
is that, it would be
Consider using the past participle "been"?
am
excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for states to become popular. Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
gather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and the place, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can represent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The participant will be able to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
competitions, compete for the championship and bring glory and pride to their homeland. To illustrate, Russia
is known
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where figure skating is
highly
developed owing to the large number of victories won by skaters at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
international games.

On
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a hand" or "another hand".
an another hand
, one of the major issue, that it could be waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It is better to direct these investments in a more appropriate direction, such as improving medicine and education. There is an argument, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, the organization of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. As an illustration, Russia spent 324. 9 billion rubles on the preparation and holding of the Olympic and Paralympic Winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
in Sochi, according to calculations conducted by the Accounting Chamber of Russia.

All things considered, There can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positives
and negatives. In my opinion, Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
reasonable reason to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invested
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
it might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and attract tourists.

All things considered, There can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positives
and negatives. In my opinion, Olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
reasonable reason to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invested
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
it might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and attract tourists.
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IELTS essay Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
518 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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