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Some believe that students who fear their teachers excel academically. Others believe students work better when they have a friendly relationship with their teacher. Discuss these views and provide your opinion.

Some believe that students who fear their teachers excel academically. Others believe students work better when they have a friendly relationship with their teacher. Discuss these views and provide your opinion. do1V7
Style of teaching is a vital aspect for education. Some are in favor of the view that teachers pose a sense of fear on their students whereas others maintain that teachers focused on having a friendly relationships with their students. Therefore, these views will be discussed hereafter as well as conclude with my own personal standpoint. It is a fact that there is a number of students lose enthusiasm to go to school. Thus, they hardly put effort on their study which can lead to bad performance as well as low scores. To tackle this problem, some teachers punished children whenever they made a mistake. This action may force students to perform better but it is not the best way. On the other hand, when children are scared of going to school because of those punishments, they would prefer stay at home rather than see their teachers In fact, there are teachers who act friendly to their students as to motivate them. They would draw inspiration on students to encourage them to experience and explore. With caring gestures, children would not have bad impression on their teachers. As a result, they would make effort to please their teachers and also improve their scores. Despite the fact that this teaching style is not suitable for stubborn students, teachers still have rights to bring forward punishments. In conclusion, my firm conviction is that teachers should maintain a cheerful attitude with their students. Yet those obstinate deserve a punishment for their bad performance at school
Style of teaching is a vital aspect for education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are in favor of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
pose a sense of fear on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
whereas others maintain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
focused on having a friendly
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "relationship"?
relationships
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Therefore
, these views will
be discussed
hereafter
as well
as conclude with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal standpoint.

It is a fact that there is a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lose enthusiasm to go to school.
Thus
, they hardly put effort on their study which can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
performance
as well
as low scores. To tackle this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
punished children whenever they made a mistake. This action may force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to perform better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the best way.
On the other hand
, when children
are scared
of going to school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of those punishments, they would prefer stay at home
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their teachers

In fact, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who act friendly to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as to motivate them. They would draw inspiration on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to encourage them to experience and explore. With caring gestures, children would not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impression on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
As a result
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their scores. Despite the fact that this teaching style is not suitable for stubborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
still
have rights to bring forward punishments.

In conclusion
, my firm conviction is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should maintain a cheerful attitude with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Yet
those obstinate deserve a punishment for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
performance at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
school
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IELTS essay Some believe that students who fear their teachers excel academically. Others believe students work better when they have a friendly relationship with their teacher. Discuss these views and provide your opinion.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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