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Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. 1DJN
Most of the people stop doing work when they get old age. Some people believe that the retirement age is their golden time of their life to sitting in the beach and relaxation. I completely disagree with this statement. In this essay, I will support my opinion with examples. Firstly, there is no age limit to work. whether the person physically fit to doing job then working is good. For example, if someone doing job in their healthy age and taking rest in old age is bad idea. Enjoying life is not for retirement period. Life is short. Enjoy every bit of life. Secondly, I prefer aged people have more experiences. The people get more experienced they off from their duty. People believe that old people is a burden to youngsters. This mentality will change if they have an income in their elderliness. On the other hand, some people believe that retirement age is peaceful time. The people get sick in their advanced age. Even their working progress will decline. The high-tech world only needs fast mind driven young people for any job. No one prefer grinny old people. For instance, for a security guard vacancy also prefer healthy strong people. Working atmosphere always different for these people. In conclusion, there is no enough job offers for old people to work in their advanced age even though they are mentally ready to work. some believe no need to work in the last ages. i believe that doing some jobs are good for their physical and mental health rather than sitting in home lonely. This essay argued why the retired people should do some jobs and its benefits.
Most of the
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people
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stop
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doing
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work
when they
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get
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old
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age
.
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Some
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people
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believe
that the retirement
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age
is their golden time of their
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life
to sitting in the beach and relaxation. I completely disagree with this statement. In this essay, I will support my opinion with examples.

Firstly
, there is no
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age
limit to
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work
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whether
the person
physically
fit to
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doing
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job
then working is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
For example
, if someone
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doing
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job
in their healthy
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age
and taking rest in
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old
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age
is
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bad
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idea
. Enjoying
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life
is not for retirement period.
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Life
is short. Enjoy every bit of
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life
.
Secondly
, I prefer aged
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people
have more experiences. The
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more experienced they off from their duty.
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People
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believe
that
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old
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a burden to youngsters. This mentality will
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change
if they have an income in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
elderliness
.

On the other hand
,
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some
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people
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believe
that retirement
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age
is peaceful time. The
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick in their advanced
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age
. Even their
Did you mean "work in progress"?
working progress
will decline. The high-tech world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needs
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fast
mind driven young
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people
for any
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job
. No one prefer
Possible spelling mistake found.
grinny
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, for a security guard vacancy
also
prefer healthy strong
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people
. Working atmosphere always
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different
for these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, there is no
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enough
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job
offers for
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old
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people
to
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work
in their advanced
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age
even though
they are mentally ready to
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work
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
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believe
no need to
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work
in the last
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ages
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
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believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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jobs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their physical and mental health
rather
than sitting in home lonely. This essay argued why the retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and its benefits.
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IELTS essay Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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