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It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent you agree or disagree?

It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. 5DVm
These days, commonly seen that university students prefer to choose hostels rather than home study. During their study period it is more advantage be with their peer group. Some people believe that hostels students get freedom and they become arrogant. However, I agree that it is better to live away from home for students. In this essay I will argue and explain how hostel stay helps them in their studies with example. First of all, the main reason for hostel stay is combine study. During their study leave, students can discuss with their peer group and they have access to the library at anytime. For example, if a university student live in college hostel. He can go to library and refer any book. Day scholars can’t get this benefits. Another reason for hostel is students have no distraction from family side. For instance, if a scholar has a family problem in his house. He couldn’t appear exams well. If he live in college lodge. There will be any interference from family. On the other hand of the argument, it is true that some students become obstinate being with their gang. There is no parental control in their growing age. So, they don’t obey elder people. They live with their attitude. Moreover, these students have no family relationship. They spend money unnecessarily. In conclusion, hostel life gives the students better education and study area. However, this may leads to bad character formation to students. In my opinion, living in hostel is good for students whose house is far from college. This essay argued that, for higher education it is better to away from home than with parents.
These days,
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostels
rather
than home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. During their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
period it is more advantage be with their peer group.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
freedom and
they become arrogant.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
away from home for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In this essay I will argue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostel
stay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
with example.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostel
stay is combine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. During their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can discuss with their peer
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
group and
they have access to the library at anytime.
For example
, if a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostel
. He can go to library and refer any book. Day scholars can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this benefits. Another reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostel
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have no distraction from family side.
For instance
, if a scholar has a family problem in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. He couldn’t appear exams well.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in college lodge. There will be any interference from family.

On the other hand
of the argument, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become obstinate being with their gang. There is no parental control in their growing age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they don’t obey elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their attitude.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have no family relationship. They spend money
unnecessarily
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostel
life gives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
better education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
area.
However
, this may leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
character formation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my opinion, living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hostel
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
whose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is far from college. This essay argued that, for higher education it is better to away from home than with parents.
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IELTS essay It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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