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Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. GMlpw
Nowadays, population of the world are increasing drastically and because of that people needs are also touching the sky limit. In environment, some places should be available to make a feel free for people and to give opportunity connect with the nature. According to my point of view, investment of large amount of money for social activity’s spaces are worth and people can visit at leisure time. Firstly, in the city area, people often to use flat and tournaments structured areas for living purpose because of those are reliable and convenient according to costs of city life. In additionally, they follow busy schedule time for make money and don’t have leisure time to observe them own life. That’s why, the outdoor public places are giving them free space to go for observe themselves, environment, connect with environment and make feel free. Furthermore, they would be able to make connection and communicate with new people. On the other hand, for investment, require a large are to build-up public place. Government or any investor takes risk to build-up free spaces for public because of so many factors are affecting the site like distance from city, facilities, cost and so on. Statue of Unity, for instance, it is largest statue in the world made by Indian government. They invested around 27 billion and consider as best place for tourism. To conclude, the government or any investor have to look into the requirement of people and availability of sources for make free spaces for public. Besides, they can also invest in paramount sectors to enhance ease of life. Public places should be more attractive and reliable with cost so, people can afford that.
Nowadays, population of the world are increasing
drastically
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
needs are
also
touching the sky limit. In environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
should be available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to give opportunity connect with the nature. According to my point of view, investment of large amount of money for social activity’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
are worth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can visit at leisure time.

Firstly
, in the city area,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
flat and tournaments structured areas for living purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of those are reliable and convenient according to costs of city life. In
additionally
, they follow busy schedule time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money and don’t have leisure time to observe them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life. That’s why, the outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are giving them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
to go for observe themselves, environment, connect with environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
Furthermore
, they would be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
connection and communicate with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, for investment, require a large are to build-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
or any investor takes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to build-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors are affecting the site like distance from city, facilities, cost and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Statue of Unity,
for instance
, it is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
Possibly confused word: Did you mean "statute" (= a sculpture; a carved or shaped imitation of an object) instead of 'statue' (= a formal written enactment of a legislative authority)?
statue
in the world made by Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. They invested around 27 billion and consider as best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for tourism.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or any investor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look into the requirement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and availability of sources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
Besides
, they can
also
invest in paramount sectors to enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
should be more attractive and reliable with cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford that.
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IELTS essay Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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