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Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. 6xo8j
It is thought that spending an excessive amount of money be invested in constructing large outdoor public areas is an absolutely vital for cities and towns. While this goal can contribute to a rise of recreational territories for citizens to relax, I believe that it is better to avoid expending too much funding on it; there are other more crucial things to outlay. To embark on, having provided more such kind of spaces, the citizens of a certain towns would be able to have a rest in near areas than going to some special spots. In other words, in this workaholic era, people recreate in these places without making long commutes to the spots, where they can have a relaxation. Not only can aforementioned areas supply with only vegetation, but also with distinct sorts of other facilities: museums, exhibitions, concerts and outdoor games. For example, Tashkent City Park, located in Tashkent city, provides individuals with these opportunities. Moreover, it benefits people materially since it is affordable to take part in such outdoor events as opposed to the special Halls. As a result, citizens would have an easy access to an avalanche of facilities and stay frugal. On the other hand, expenditure on these public spaces hugely provokes to the mitigation of the cost on other issues. That is to stay, should the government pay more attention to the health or poverty –related problems more, it would be expedient due to the fact that a hefty number of humans suffer from being unable to cater their basic needs: healthcare, education and food. Furthermore, the state ought to take into account a trouble of overpopulation; should more lands are occupied by outdoor public spaces, it can be a pitfall as a consequence since it grounds for reduction of spaces for housing. Thus, it is provident to allocate ample investment to the open-air public spaces, encompassing the necessity of tackling other issues. The conclusion to be drawn is that in some peoples’ opinions it is advantageous to spare more funding support on outdoor public spaces. In my view, it ought to be implemented partly without extra-expenditure, taking into consideration of other troubles.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that spending an excessive amount of money
be invested
in constructing large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas is an
absolutely
vital for cities and towns. While this goal can contribute to a rise of recreational territories for citizens to relax, I believe that it is better to avoid expending too much funding on it; there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more crucial things to outlay.

To embark on, having provided more such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
, the citizens of a certain
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "town"?
towns
would be able to have a rest in near areas than going to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special spots. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, in this workaholic era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
recreate in these places without making long commutes to the spots, where they can have a relaxation. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can aforementioned areas supply with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
vegetation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with distinct sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities: museums, exhibitions, concerts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
games.
For example
, Tashkent City Park, located in Tashkent city, provides individuals with these opportunities.
Moreover
, it benefits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
materially
since it is affordable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
as opposed to the special Halls.
As a result
, citizens would have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "easy access".
an easy access
to an avalanche of facilities and stay frugal.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, expenditure on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
hugely
provokes to the mitigation of the cost on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues.
That is
to stay, should the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
pay more attention to the health or poverty –related problems more, it would be expedient due to the fact that a hefty number of humans suffer from being unable to cater their basic needs: healthcare, education and food.
Furthermore
, the state ought to take into account a trouble of overpopulation; should more lands
are occupied
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
, it can be a pitfall as a
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "since". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence since
it grounds for reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
for housing.
Thus
, it is provident to allocate ample investment to the open-air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
, encompassing the necessity of tackling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues.

The conclusion to
be drawn
is that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
peoples’ opinions it is advantageous to spare more funding support on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
. In my view, it ought to
be implemented
partly without extra-expenditure,
You have fused two expressions into one, "in consideration of" and "taking into consideration." Remove the word "of" from the end: "taking into consideration".
taking into consideration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
troubles.
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IELTS essay Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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