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positive jobs have their purpose

positive jobs have their purpose 0l8XB
I think all the positive jobs have their purpose to contribute the society, but if i had to choose one, i would choose a doctor at the moment definitely. Doctor is a physically and mentality demanding job who have to work tirelessly to save people's live and keep patient spirit up all the times. Moreover, they have played an integral role in people's live generally, but during the quarantine, they are even more important due to taking responsibility on the front lines to struggling the Covid19 pandemic. I highly recommend people to watch the VTV channel's reality videos called "Ranh Gioi" which was recorded a whole day doctor's hectic working. It took a lot of tears and obsessed with the viewers because we can see how dangerous the Coronavirus was to the pregnant patient's live and a doctors's hardworking, dedication and determination to save people's live. So, it is not only about the useful jobs or essential part, it would be an indispensable function of society nowadays.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
jobs have their purpose to contribute the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
had to choose one,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would choose a doctor at the moment definitely. Doctor is a
physically
and mentality demanding job who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
tirelessly
to save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
patient spirit up all the times.
Moreover
, they have played an integral role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
generally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
during the quarantine, they are even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
due to taking responsibility on the front lines to struggling the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid19
pandemic. I
highly
recommend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
VTV
channel's reality videos called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ranh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gioi
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
which
was recorded
a whole day doctor's hectic working. It took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tears and obsessed with the viewers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
the Coronavirus was to the pregnant patient's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and a
Did you mean "doctor's" or "doctors'"?
doctors's
hardworking, dedication and determination to save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about the useful jobs or essential part, it would be an indispensable function of society nowadays.
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IELTS essay positive jobs have their purpose

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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