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Newspapers and books are outdated .Why do some people believe this ? What's your opinion about the future of books and newspapers ?

Newspapers and books are outdated. Why do some people believe this? What's your opinion about the future of books and newspapers? kg7NW
Some people believed that newspapers and printed books are becoming extinct in the modern age. However, in my opinion, I do not concur with that fact, each kind of book has its benefits to humans. In this essay, I will classify my point of view. On the one hand, online news is convenient to users in many ways. First of all, it is costless to use therefore saving a lot of subscription money, so people won't need to waste the amount of money monthly. Secondly, with technology devices, people can keep the news up to date 24/7 and portable not only wherever but also whenever they want to. Thirdly, it is unenviable that using online newspapers can protect the environment from losing trees. Indeed, according to printed media, the manufacturer has to use a huge amount of paper for print purposes, thereby leading to lack of trees soon. On the other hand, although several people argued about stopping take offline newspapers, certain people still prefer to buy it as one of their habits. Firstly, it is more convincing to reader because of the realistic information. Since all the news is censored by news headquarter in particular and the government in general, readers may feel more reliable on the source of news rather than tabloids. Secondly, reading printed newspapers also play as an unforgettable traditional image in Vietnamese people. For instance, the moment someone read newspaper while sipping a cup of tea is always stuck in our childhood mind. As a result, we also need to preserve the traditional value of a nation. In conclusion, it is undeniable that online news is still more attractive to readers than offline news these days whereas, some people still support printed versions. In my opinion, people can choose according to their passion but remind themselves not to neglect one other left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
books are becoming extinct in the modern age.
However
, in my opinion, I do not concur with that fact, each kind of book has its benefits to humans. In this essay, I will classify my point of view.

On the one hand, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is convenient to users in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
costless
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
therefore
saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
subscription money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
won't need to waste the amount of money monthly.
Secondly
, with technology devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
up to date 24/7 and portable not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wherever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
whenever they want to.
Thirdly
, it is unenviable that using online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
can protect the environment from losing trees.
Indeed
, according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
media, the manufacturer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a huge amount of paper for print purposes, thereby leading to lack of trees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

On the other hand
, although several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued about stopping take offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it as one of their habits.
Firstly
, it is more convincing to reader
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the realistic information. Since all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is censored
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
headquarter
in particular
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in general
, readers may feel more reliable on the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
rather
than tabloids.
Secondly
, reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
also
play as an unforgettable traditional image in Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, the moment someone read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
while sipping a cup of tea is always stuck in our childhood mind.
As a result
, we
also
need to preserve the traditional value of a nation.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
still
more attractive to readers than offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
these days whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
versions. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose according to their passion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
remind themselves not to neglect one other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
left
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IELTS essay Newspapers and books are outdated. Why do some people believe this? What's your opinion about the future of books and newspapers?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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