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Society advances most when people break from the traditions of their predecessors. To what extent do you afree or disagree with this statement?

Society advances most when people break from the traditions of their predecessors. q5w7D
Going through years of history, people gradually developed many aspects of their life by following the traditions and learned from the previous generations. Meanwhile, nowadays, some people believe that trying new things and breaking traditions is beneficial to society. I don't completely agree with this statement. We all knew that tradition is included all the experiences, feelings, understanding, … which are accumulated throughout the years. People base on that not only to improve the limitations but also bring into play the positive aspect of modern society. Moreover, tradition also represents the cultural, spiritual, and core values of a nation. Without these traditions, we completely lost an opportunity to make something unique. For instance, although having thousands of years of civilization, Vietnamese people still try to uphold all the national traditions which are bequeathed by ancestors, such as Ao dai, pho, . . . As a result that we should continue preserving and upholding these nice traditions. Despite the many advantages that long traditions bring to society, there are still some drawbacks. Time goes by, everything continuously changes, so that some old rules and cultures may be no longer suitable for the present generation. Consequently, many young people don’t agree with those old rules and controversies arise. So that some changes are inevitable. For example, in the past, women didn’t equalize as men were. But these conceptions became outdated so that people changed their minds little by little. And nowadays, we witness many successful women who are talented, intelligent, and kind. However, we shouldn’t change our traditions so much because it may lead to many other negative consequences. In conclusion, society needs both traditions and innovations for sustainable development. We should uphold profitable traditions and change what is unsuitable. So that we can create together a whole new better society.
Going through years of history,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gradually
developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of their life by following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and learned from the previous generations. Meanwhile, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that trying new things and breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
is beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I don't completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

We all knew that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
is included
all the experiences, feelings, understanding, … which
are accumulated
throughout the years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
base on that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the limitations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bring into play the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
also
represents the cultural, spiritual, and core values of a nation. Without these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, we completely lost an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
something unique.
For instance
, although having thousands of years of civilization, Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
try to uphold all the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
which
are bequeathed
by ancestors, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ao
Possible spelling mistake found.
dai
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pho
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
As a result
that we should continue preserving and upholding these nice traditions.

Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages that long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. Time goes by, everything
continuously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and cultures may be no longer suitable for the present generation.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and controversies arise.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are inevitable.
For example
, in the past, women didn’t equalize as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these conceptions became outdated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their minds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
. And nowadays, we witness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
successful women who
are talented
, intelligent, and kind.
However
, we shouldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
needs both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and innovations for sustainable development. We should uphold profitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
what is unsuitable.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
we can create together a whole new better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Society advances most when people break from the traditions of their predecessors.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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