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socialising online in children - reasons & solutions

socialising online in children - reasons & solutions bxx7X
In the technology era, it is argued that young people would contact others via the Internet rather than communicating face-to-face. In this following essay, I will elaborate the development of technology and mental health as the rationales for this tendency, and expound a number of solutions to tackle the former problem. To begin with, there are various reasons why children consider online socialization their priorities. First of all, technological gadgets and devices minimize geographical boundaries between families and peers. In other words, since the expediency of the Internet, which teenagers merely get access to by the Wireless Fidelity or 4G, the young prefer to stay in touch with those who are even in far-fetching destinations. For instance, instead of corresponding with peers, adolescents are enabled to make a group video call through the online app “Messages”. Furthermore, it is children who have mental illness, namely social anxiety disorders or depression, that evade interacting directly. These people have fear of keeping in verbal conversation and as a result, they tend to isolate themselves from society by spending predominant time on websites, where they could express their true beauty. Nevertheless, it is irrefutably essential to address the aforementioned matter. Firstly, the governments should enact the rules and regulations irrespective of cost. More specifically, this service price is advised to be intensified, which fosters the probability of diminishing the amount of time taken up by teenagers who cannot afford it. What is more, parents ought to take more of their responsibilities in caring for special-cased offspring, which might enhance their confidence to participate in external activities. In conclusion, juveniles have a tendency of contacting the agency of online websites due to the convenience of these Internet sites and the shyness of children being mentally dysfunctional. Meanwhile, there are a wide range of revolutions including escalating the Internet price service and stimulating children to engage in outdoor pursuits.
In the technology era, it
is argued
that young
people
would contact others via the Internet
rather
than communicating face-to-face. In this following essay, I will elaborate the development of technology and mental health as the rationales for this tendency, and expound a number of solutions to tackle the former problem.

To
begin
with, there are various reasons why
children
consider online socialization their priorities.
First of all
, technological gadgets and devices minimize geographical boundaries between families and peers.
In other words
, since the expediency of the Internet, which
teenagers
merely
get
access to
by
the Wireless Fidelity or 4G, the young prefer to stay in touch with those who are even in far-fetching destinations.
For instance
,
instead
of corresponding with peers, adolescents
are enabled
to
make
a group video call through the online app “Messages”.
Furthermore
, it is
children
who have mental illness,
namely
social anxiety disorders or depression, that evade interacting
directly
. These
people
have fear of keeping in verbal conversation and
as a result
, they tend to isolate themselves from society by spending predominant time on websites, where they could express their true beauty.

Nevertheless
, it is
irrefutably
essential to address the aforementioned matter.
Firstly
, the
governments
should enact the
rules
and regulations irrespective of cost. More
specifically
, this service price
is advised
to
be intensified
, which fosters the probability of diminishing the amount of time taken up by
teenagers
who cannot afford it.
What is more
, parents ought to take more of their responsibilities in caring for special-cased offspring, which might enhance their confidence to participate in external activities.

In conclusion
, juveniles have a tendency of contacting the agency of online websites due to the convenience of these Internet sites and the shyness of
children
being mentally dysfunctional. Meanwhile, there are a wide range of revolutions including escalating the Internet price service and stimulating
children
to engage in outdoor pursuits.
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IELTS essay socialising online in children - reasons & solutions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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