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Social media restrictions for children

Social media restrictions for children nxqBn
Social media today is extremely significant to a majority of the population, especially the younger generation. Many teenagers find it exceptionally convenient and necessary for communication and entertainment. However, not everyone is able to use social media responsibly, which gave rise to the idea of making it accessible to only those older than eighteen years of age. Though there are negatives, such as cyber-bullying, or being too distracted by these modern media, there are issues surrounding most things in life. It is a choice to go onto a social media website, and many younger people are capable of managing accounts without any difficulties. It is not the government’s responsibility to monitor under eighteen-year olds; that is for the parents. Statistics show that over eighty per cent of teens use a form of online social media. It allows them to chat online, easily stay in contact with friends and family across the world, and see updates on others’ lives (through text, photos or videos). Social media is a way to express thoughts or ideas and to stay in contact with the rest of the world. To not permit one of the largest Internet-using demographics to use social media because a few people have problems with it is an irrational and an unfair restriction. Not only would profit be lost with fewer users, but controlling who creates accounts and monitoring proof of age would be difficult as well. I believe that laws should not make social media inaccessible to young people under eighteen; this would be unnecessary and absurd.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
extremely
significant to a majority of the population,
especially
the younger generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
find it
exceptionally
convenient and necessary for communication and entertainment.
However
, not everyone is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
responsibly
, which gave rise to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of making it accessible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those older than eighteen years of age.

Though there are negatives, such as cyber-bullying, or being too distracted by these modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, there are issues surrounding most things in life. It is a choice to go onto a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
website, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are capable of managing accounts without any difficulties. It is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s responsibility to monitor under eighteen-year olds;
that is
for the parents.

Statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that over eighty per cent of teens
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "uses"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'use' is not always incorrect.)
use
a form of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to chat online,
easily
stay in contact with friends and family across the world, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
updates on others’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
(through text, photos or videos).
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a way to express thoughts or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and to stay in contact with the rest of the world.

To not permit one of the largest Internet-using demographics to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have problems with it is an irrational and an unfair restriction. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would profit
be lost
with fewer users,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
controlling who creates accounts and monitoring proof of age would be difficult
as well
. I believe that laws should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
inaccessible to young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under eighteen; this would be unnecessary and absurd.
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IELTS essay Social media restrictions for children

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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