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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? YX1r
Social media is a great platform to connect with friends and family. It enables people to trace long lost friends and stay in constant touch with family. This is a boon for people living away from their near and dear ones. Social media also enables like-minded people to form virtual communities where they can share their interests and opinions, and work together for their favorite causes. Similarly, for business savvy people, social media is an ideal place to find new customers and promote their products. On the downside, social media has plenty of negative aspects. Over the years, it has become a platform to show off. Now, many people are only using it to brag about their achievements and possessions. They frequently post on Facebook or Instagram photos and stories of their expensive acquisitions and exotic vacations. This can make their less privileged friends and acquaintances feel inferior. Another downside is that people are indiscriminately posting their personal information online oblivious to the fact that it can be stolen and misused. For instance, when traveling people use geo-tagging apps to advertise their current location, they increase the risk of their home getting burgled. Personal photos posted online can also be misused and sometimes the consequences can be disastrous. Worse than that, sometimes social media companies themselves sell user data for making a profit, which may as well be used by phishers and scammers. In short, social media can be a great platform to connect with people only when it is used for its intended purpose, but in reality, these days, it is for many people merely a means to show off, and for others it is a goldmine of personal data to exploit, which explains why I am overall convinced that its downsides outweigh the upsides.
Social
media
is a great platform to connect with friends and family. It enables
people
to trace
long lost
friends and stay in constant touch with family. This is a boon for
people
living away from their near and dear ones.
Social
media
also
enables like-minded
people
to form virtual communities where they can share their interests and opinions, and work together for their favorite causes.
Similarly
, for business savvy
people
,
social
media
is an ideal place to find new customers and promote their products.

On the downside,
social
media
has
plenty
of
negative
aspects. Over the years, it has become a platform to
show
off.
Now
,
many
people
are
only
using it to brag about their achievements and possessions. They
frequently
post on Facebook or Instagram photos and stories of their expensive acquisitions and exotic vacations. This can
make
their less privileged friends and acquaintances feel inferior. Another downside is that
people
are
indiscriminately
posting their personal information online oblivious to the fact that it can
be stolen
and misused.
For instance
, when traveling
people
use
geo-tagging
apps to advertise their
current
location, they increase the
risk
of their home getting burgled. Personal photos posted online can
also
be misused
and
sometimes
the consequences can be disastrous. Worse than that,
sometimes
social
media
companies
themselves sell user data for making a profit, which may
as well
be
used
by phishers and scammers.

In short,
social
media
can be a great platform to connect with
people
only
when it is
used
for its intended purpose,
but
in reality, these days, it is for
many
people
merely
a means to
show
off, and for others it is a goldmine of personal data to exploit, which
explains
why I am
overall
convinced that its downsides outweigh the upsides.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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