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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? ND5j
It is a known fact that use of social networking platforms is increasing at a tremendous pace across the globe. Some people believe that they are very beneficial to the society at large while others argue that they have some associated risks. This essay will argue that the advantages of this outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first demonstrate that the social media acts as a bridge between the friends and the relatives and also provide lots of information about the events taking place around the world, followed by an analysis of how the primary disadvantage, namely, threat to personal information is not valid. To commence with the explanation, plethora of reasons can be put forward to why some people deduce that social networking platforms are very significant in today's age. First and foremost, it helps us to communicate with our friends and relatives living in any corner of the world in an easy and economical manner. These platforms helps us to maintain a continuous bond with our friends and relatives as we are able to see what is happening in there life from the updates on their profiles. In addition to these, social media provides us with live updates about the events that are taking place in different parts of the world. For instance, when tremors of earthquake were felt in Rajasthan and Delhi, this occurrence started trending on Twitter immediately. Those opposed to this say that there is a risk of theft or impersonation if personal information is shared on these websites. This is because many incidents have been recorded in the past wherein, by using the personal information from the social media platforms, people were cheated or harassed. Recently, a girl faced lot of difficulties just because she shared the photos of her boarding pass on her social media platform. Someone used the PNR number, and cancelled her flight ticket. She got to know about this when she went for boarding the flight. However, these types of incidents can be avoided just by avoiding sharing of sensitive information on of these websites. On balance, the fact that social networking platforms helps us to communicate with our friends and relatives and also provides plenty of information clearly outweighs the flawed argument that it may be a threat for the society at large.
It is a known fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
is increasing at a tremendous pace across the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to the society at large while others argue that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
associated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. This essay will argue that the advantages of this outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will
first
demonstrate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
acts as a bridge between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
and
also
provide lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
taking place around the world, followed by an analysis of how the primary disadvantage,
namely
, threat to personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is not valid.

To commence with the explanation, plethora of reasons can
be put
forward to why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deduce that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's age.
First
and foremost, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to communicate with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
living in any corner of the world in an easy and economical manner. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
You should probably use "help".
helps
us to maintain a continuous bond with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
as we are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what is happening in there life from the updates on their profiles.
In addition
to these,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
provides us with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
updates about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that are taking place in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.
For instance
, when tremors of earthquake
were felt
in Rajasthan and Delhi, this occurrence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
trending on Twitter immediately.

Those opposed to this say that there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of theft or impersonation if personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is shared
on these websites. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
incidents have
been recorded
in the past wherein, by using the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were cheated
or harassed. Recently, a girl faced lot of difficulties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she shared the photos of her boarding pass on her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
. Someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the PNR number, and cancelled her flight ticket. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know about this when she went for boarding the flight.
However
, these types of incidents can
be avoided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by avoiding sharing of sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on of these websites.

On balance, the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to communicate with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
and
also
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
clearly
outweighs the flawed argument that it may be a threat for the society at large.
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I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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