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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? B3od
As the Internet and information technology are developed, social media is becoming more and more well-known. Although, there are some disadvantages, this service provides good effects more. This essay will discuss the advantages and weaknesses of this technology and why its strengths outweigh faults of it. The benefits of social media are numerous. First, we can exchange our thoughts and opinions despite not being at the same place. So, we are able to utilize it for education of youngsters. For example, it is used to share opinions and learn more efficiently when students have classes online in the pandemic. Second, people can contact and make an appointment although they are not at the same place. It would reduce troublesome works to go out and be at the same place. I think this can also save the earth by not using cars which emit exhaust to meet for promising an encountering. Third, it gives plenty of information to us. We can search data for assignments or works and conduct it well. The drawbacks of social media are various. Firstly, anonymous and unknown person can access to a person or one’s important data. He or she will approach to get one’s personal information and use it in a bad way. Second, the reliability to information will be decreased. Because everyone can spread news, fake news will be increased. Then, users will doubt if data is correct. Third, some companies will advertise their products or services illegally. While people use it, they will be tired of advertisements. In my opinion, the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages of it. Although there are some problems, I believe we can solve the problem with subsequent policies. And I consider many people would utilize social media in a good way. To sum up, social media has advantages and disadvantages. But I think the merits of it outweigh the flaws of it.
As the Internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
technology
are developed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is becoming more and more well-known. Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, this service provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effects more. This essay will discuss the advantages and weaknesses of this technology and why its strengths outweigh faults of it. The benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are numerous.
First
, we can exchange our thoughts and opinions despite not being at the same place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we are able to utilize it for education of youngsters.
For example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to share opinions and learn more
efficiently
when students have classes online in the pandemic. Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can contact and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an appointment although they are not at the same place. It would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
troublesome works to go out and be at the same place. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this can
also
save the earth by not using cars which emit exhaust to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
for promising an encountering. Third, it gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to us. We can search data for assignments or works and conduct it well. The drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are various.
Firstly
, anonymous and unknown person can access to a person or one’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
data. He or she will approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one’s personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. Second, the reliability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
will
be decreased
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
everyone can spread news, fake news will
be increased
. Then, users will doubt if data is correct. Third,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will advertise their products or services
illegally
. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it, they will
be tired
of advertisements. In my opinion, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outweigh the disadvantages of it. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, I believe we can solve the problem with subsequent policies. And I consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has advantages and disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the merits of it outweigh the flaws of it.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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