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Social media: advantages vs disadvantages

Social media: advantages vs disadvantages okGgD
Social media is a great tool nowadays, there are advantages and disadvantages, but I consider some of this are our fault. Some advantages we owe to social media is to keep in contact with huge people around the world, also the faster Internet responses. In contrast, the disadvantages are probably, worse than we expected, pictures and personal informationn can be filtrated, we can suffer abuses, or privacy invasion. Adults are concerned about the risks that social media brings, and I still believe children must not have any kind of contact with social media since they are so young to comprehend these two sides of Internet tools. I am confident that exist more disadvantages that outweigh the advantages. Personally, I have many examples to consider children as unconscious persons to manage social media, first there are sick people who are looking for children or adolescents to get their personal benefits. People find this aspect as one of the most popular, Movistar plasm this problem in one of its advertising campaigns. Society is not safe of this kind of abuses in our entired life, but we can protect others as much as possible with restrictions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a great tool nowadays, there are advantages and disadvantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of this are our fault.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
advantages we owe to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact with huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world,
also
the faster Internet responses.
In contrast
, the disadvantages are
probably
, worse than we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, pictures and personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
informationn
can
be filtrated
, we can suffer abuses, or privacy invasion.

Adults
are concerned
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
brings, and I
still
believe children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not have any kind of contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
since they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
young to comprehend these two sides of Internet tools. I am confident that exist more disadvantages that outweigh the advantages.

Personally
, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples to consider children as unconscious persons to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
first
there are sick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are looking for children or adolescents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their personal benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
find this aspect as one of the most popular, Movistar
Possible spelling mistake found.
plasm
this problem in one of its advertising campaigns.

Society is not safe of this kind of abuses in our
Possible spelling mistake found.
entired
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can protect others as much as possible with restrictions.
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IELTS essay Social media: advantages vs disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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