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Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. JXq5
In this contemporary era, cigarette put bad impact on both active and passive smokers. This, smoking ought to be restricted bt government in local areas because it has Dangerous effect on human life. Undoubtedly, disadvantages of having a smoking is more than advantage. To begin with, there are many reasons why smoking must to prohibited in public place. The first and foremost reason is cigarette contains various carcinogenic components such as tobacco and so on. Which put serious illness such as mouth cancer and other parts of body cancer as well as if people do smoking continuously then the respiratory system of their body would be damaged. For example, a recent article published in the tribute they showed that 80% of individuals suffer from many disease like cancer. Therefore higher legal authority should be make strict law to overcome this problem. Furthermore, pubs and bars should be banned because it would not have bad on upcoming generations. On the other hand, countries economic growth could be affected if regime banned to manufacturing industries because nowadays million of people have a drug addict than they spend large amount of money for buying cigarette. Hence, it is directly effect on countries economy. Moreover, it should not be fully restricted if passive smoker do not feel comfortable they can go from permitted place. In conclusion, there is no doubt cigarette put dangerous effect such as harmful disease, but it is directly effect on the countries economic development, so legal administration should be organised awareness camps for human being.
In this contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on both active and passive smokers. This,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
ought to
be restricted
Possible spelling mistake found.
bt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in local areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on human life.
Undoubtedly
, disadvantages of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is more than advantage.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
to prohibited in public place. The
first
and foremost reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
contains various carcinogenic components such as tobacco and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Which put serious illness such as mouth cancer and other parts of body cancer
as well
as if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
continuously
then the respiratory system of their body would
be damaged
.
For example
, a recent article published in the tribute they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 80% of individuals suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disease like cancer.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
higher legal authority should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict law to overcome this problem.
Furthermore
, pubs and bars should
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
on upcoming generations.
On the other hand
, countries economic growth could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
if regime banned to manufacturing industries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a drug addict than they spend large amount of money for buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
.
Hence
, it is
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
economy.
Moreover
, it should not be
fully
restricted if passive smoker do not feel comfortable they can go from permitted place.
In conclusion
, there is no doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
such as harmful disease,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on the countries economic development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
legal administration should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
awareness camps for human being.

IELTS essay Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
255 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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