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smoking is dangerous for health

smoking is dangerous for health gAE53
It is thought that smoking and tobacco are responsible for numerous deaths and health hassles across the world. Many individuals believe that these products should be banned. I agree with this viewpoint. This essay will elaborate all the reasons behind my claim. First and Foremost reason for banning the tobacco is that it is leading cause of numerous deaths occurring throughout the world. The world health organization has recently revealed that 50% people lost their lives due to the consumption of smoking only. It casts an adverse affect on the respiratory system of human beings and lead to deadly diseases cancer. Moreover, not only it affects the person physically, but it also declines the mental power by 10%. The countries where the smoking is illegal has lower death rate as compared to countries where it is legalised The second vivid reason is that it is the responsibility of the government to protect the people from taking such detrimental substances because many people do not know their ill effects. They just consume it as a entertainment. As per the latest Report 70% of smokers do not know how many fatal diseases take birth due to smoking such as cancer and asthma. Furthermore, long terms consumption of smoking also reduces the productivity of individuals. If the productivity of people comes to halt, then the economy of the country will also be affected. As there is one famous proverb” Health body makes the health Nation” In conclusion, there are plethora of reasons behind imposing a ban on tobacco sale ranging from impacting the individual mentally and physically to brining the economy of the country to standstill.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and tobacco are responsible for numerous deaths and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
hassles across the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals believe that these products should
be banned
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint. This essay will elaborate all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind my claim.

First
and Foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for banning the tobacco is that it is leading cause of numerous deaths occurring throughout the world. The world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
organization has recently revealed that 50%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. It casts an adverse
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the respiratory system of human beings and lead to deadly
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "diseases'" or "disease's"?
diseases
cancer.
Moreover
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it affects the person
physically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
declines the mental power by 10%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is illegal has lower death rate as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where it is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
legalised


The second vivid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that it is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from taking such detrimental substances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know their ill effects. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
consume it as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
entertainment. As per the latest Report 70% of smokers do not know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fatal diseases take birth due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
such as cancer and asthma.
Furthermore
, long terms consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the productivity of individuals. If the productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to halt, then the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
there is one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
proverb”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Nation
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
”


In conclusion
, there are plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind imposing a ban on tobacco sale ranging from impacting the individual mentally and
physically
to brining the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to standstill.
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IELTS essay smoking is dangerous for health

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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