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Smoking and consumption of tobacco and and the main cause of several illness and deaths throughout the globe,the government should ban cigaretts and tobacco products in the interest of public health.To what extent do you agree or disagree

Smoking and consumption of tobacco and and the main cause of several illness and deaths throughout the globe, the government should ban cigaretts and tobacco products in the interest of public health. gAP9g
In recent year, most of the people increase the intake of tobacco, and as a result they fall into chronic diseases and death. Government should ban such products which contain tobacco and other toxins, I completely agree with these statement and reasons for my inclination are articulated in the trail paragraphs. To embark with, first and foremost reason that supports my ideology is, tobacco being responsible for most of the cancers. For instance, intake of cigarettes are lead to harm lungs and chewing tobacco could affect the mouth, stomach or kidneys of the person. Couple with that one who smokes is more likely to die in very early age. To illustrate, a research by WHO showa that 30 per cent of death are resulting from tobacco and nicotin. Moreover a person who do not smoke but breath someone else's cigarettes smoke could be experienced more effects on a person's heart and lungs. However, usage of tobacco could be reduced if government take some precautions. Firstly, government should establish smoke free campaigns where treatments for quit smoking are provided and could aware the folks. To add with that, government should add subjects in schools that aware children from their childhood. Consequently, in their adult life if they are well educated then they will not take any of the product that can affect their body. On the close scrutiny, I conclude that, government should ban the cigaretts as well as should aware people from it causes and make strict rules for prducer who make such products.
In recent year, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
increase the intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
, and
as a result
they fall into chronic diseases and death.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should ban such products which contain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
and other toxins, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
Did you mean "this statement" or "these statements"?
these statement
and reasons for my inclination
are articulated
in the trail paragraphs. To embark with,
first
and foremost reason that supports my ideology is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
being responsible for most of the cancers.
For instance
, intake of cigarettes are lead to harm lungs and chewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
could affect the mouth, stomach or kidneys of the person. Couple with that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smokes
is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age. To illustrate,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
by
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
Possible spelling mistake found.
showa
that 30 per cent of death are resulting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nicotin
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
breath someone else's cigarettes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
could
be experienced
more effects on a person's heart and lungs.
However
, usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
free campaigns where treatments for quit smoking
are provided
and could aware the folks. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
with that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
subjects in schools that aware children from their childhood.
Consequently
, in their adult life if they are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
then they will not take any of the product that can affect their body. On the
Consider using "scrutiny".
close scrutiny
, I conclude that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should ban the
Possible spelling mistake found.
cigaretts
as well
as should aware
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from it causes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
prducer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such products.
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IELTS essay Smoking and consumption of tobacco and and the main cause of several illness and deaths throughout the globe, the government should ban cigaretts and tobacco products in the interest of public health.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Smoking and consumption of tobacco and and the main cause of several illness and deaths throughout the globe,the government should ban cigaretts and tobacco products in the interest of public health.To what extent do you agree or disagree