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ordianry people follow clelebritues

ordianry people follow clelebritues XyORO
It has been noticed quite often that many people try to follow celebrities after reading about them or watching them on TV. Which other people might find to be strange, but in reality there could be many reasons behind that, one of which is us humans being a "social animal". Humans by nature are designed to mould themselves in a way to be able adjust to their surroundings, which could be one of the reason for copying famous people because they think that is the norm, or the sense of self satisfaction they get when they act a certain way, thinking that is what could make them happy or closer to success. Everyone is built different and has a different thought process, some are happy and content with who and what they are, while others are not, so for that purpose they need a persona that can help them out of their misery and that is what they find among the celebrities. A very famous example we can think about is the Kardashian family, a family of so called "influencers" with not a shred of talent, wits or much of education, ruling the media with a vast majority of fan following from as young as a mere 10 year old to 40 years old men and women. The most devastating thing about it is that many people are willing to professionally alter their whole face and image, just to look like them. Its uterly heartbreaking to witness this on daily basis. But thats how humans are, they are attracted by things that these famous people have and try to attain that for themselves, which unfortunately not always works in their favour, leaving them in many problems with no solutions later on. In my opinion, I would say its prudent to think otherwise, that the more we stay away from following other people be it anyway the better our lives would be and happier we would be. Instead of being so preoccupied with other people, if we work on ourselves and focus on our own being the stronger will we be. In Conclusion, it can be clearly stated that the less we follow others but rather follow our own ambitions the better our lives will be.
It has
been noticed
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to follow celebrities after reading about them or watching them on TV. Which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might find to be strange,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in reality there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind that, one of which is us humans being a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
social animal
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

Humans by nature
are designed
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
themselves in a way to be
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'adjust'.
able adjust
to their surroundings, which could be one of the reason for copying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
the norm, or the sense of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self satisfaction
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
when they act a certain way, thinking
that is
what could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy or closer to success. Everyone
is built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are happy and content with who and what they are, while others are not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for that purpose they need a persona that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them out of their misery and
that is
what they find among the celebrities. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
example we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about is the Kardashian family, a family of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
influencers
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
with not a shred of talent, wits or much of education, ruling the media with a vast majority of fan following from as young as a mere
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "10-year"
10 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
to 40 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women. The most devastating thing about it is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to
professionally
alter their whole face and image,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to look like them. Its
Possible spelling mistake found.
uterly
heartbreaking to witness this on daily basis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
how humans are, they
are attracted
by things that these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have and try to attain that for themselves, which unfortunately not always works in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
, leaving them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems with no solutions later on.

In my opinion, I would say
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
prudent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
, that the more we stay away from following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be it anyway the better our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
would be and happier we would be.
Instead
of being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
preoccupied with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, if we work on ourselves and focus on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
being the stronger will we be.

In Conclusion
, it can be
clearly
stated that the less we follow others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
follow our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ambitions the better our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will be.
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IELTS essay ordianry people follow clelebritues

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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