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"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

It is commonly said that today's children are facing more complications when compared to yesterday's. That is true in the sense of being into a harder challenger not only on the academic front but also social as well as commercial end. The causes will be discussed here. It is very important for children to excel in their age and become successful adults. As the global village is becoming more and more advanced, it becomes equally forceful for us to prepare for the fight which in turn triggers societies to push their juveniles during their learning stage. The other thing that is contributing to this ever rising pressure is the competition of bringing out the best of themselves and prove to be better than others. In other words, the race becomes more prominent than the objective. This affects the normal development of the mind which in turn results into institutional racism between the intelligent and the less intelligent. To stop such struggle among the young, there should be sense of understanding within the developmental institutions. Students must participate for the academic betterment, but not for social supremacy. The parents and family should also proactively get involved in promoting sportsmanship and help the individual to calm the eagerness to always be a winner. To conclude, it is very simple for the society to put the young in a situation where they compete to bring the outcome, but it is very difficult for them to accept the results. There should always be space for the personal development of the child which can profit the society in the long run.
It is
commonly
said that
today
's children are facing more complications when compared to yesterday's.
That is
true in the sense of being into a harder challenger not
only
on the academic front
but
also
social
as well
as commercial
end
. The causes will
be discussed
here.

It is
very
important
for children to excel in their age and become successful adults. As the global village is becoming more and more advanced, it becomes
equally
forceful for us to prepare for the fight which in turn triggers societies to push their juveniles during their learning stage.

The other thing
that is
contributing to this ever rising pressure is the competition of bringing out the best of themselves and prove to be better than others.
In other words
, the race becomes more prominent than the objective. This affects the normal development of the mind which in turn results into institutional racism between the intelligent and the less intelligent.

To
stop
such struggle among the young, there should be sense of understanding within the developmental institutions. Students
must
participate for the academic betterment,
but
not for social supremacy. The parents and family should
also
proactively
get
involved in promoting sportsmanship and
help
the individual to calm the eagerness to always be a winner.

To conclude
, it is
very
simple for the society to put the young in a situation where they compete to bring the outcome,
but
it is
very
difficult for them to accept the results. There should always be space for the personal development of the child which can profit the society in the long run.
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IELTS essay "Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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