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smartphones have harms, especially health and relationships. do you agree ?

smartphones have harms, especially health and relationships. do you agree? g5awd
There is no denying the fact that smartphones are more and more changing our daily life. It is claimed that although they bring a lot of benefits for us, they have lots of also harms, especially about our health and relationships. I strongly agree with that statement. On the other hand, smartphones are useful for our life. First of all, the phone makes communication become easier than ever. Previously, to communicate with another, we only can write a hand letter, which was very troubles and sometimes the letter could be misplaced. Now, in spite of being anywhere on the Earth, we can still interact and hear the voice of the other. In addition, with smartphones, we can take photographs or save great moments no much difference from the camera… Having a smartphone, our life is becoming easier. On the other hand, smartphones are also harmful to our health and relationships. Firstly, eye diseases are always stalking us. For example, recent surveys have shown that children play games too many times which can cause myope in their eyes. Secondly, we have used a smartphone to meet online meetings or interact with others… It makes us lazy to meet directly. That gradually shatters relationships and is becoming distant from each other… As we know, smartphones are very useful for our life, but they have lots of harmful health and communications influences. I believe that they are useful to us if we know to use them effectively.
There is no denying the fact that smartphones are more and more changing our daily
life
. It
is claimed
that although they bring
a lot of
benefits for us, they have lots of
also
harms,
especially
about our health and relationships. I
strongly
agree
with that statement.

On the
other
hand, smartphones are useful for our
life
.
First of all
, the phone
makes
communication become easier than ever. Previously, to communicate with another, we
only
can write a hand letter, which was
very
troubles and
sometimes
the letter could
be misplaced
.
Now
,
in spite of
being anywhere on the Earth, we can
still
interact and hear the voice of the
other
.
In addition
, with smartphones, we can take photographs or save great moments
no
much difference from the camera… Having a smartphone, our
life
is becoming easier.

On the
other
hand, smartphones are
also
harmful to our health and relationships.
Firstly
, eye diseases are always stalking us.
For example
, recent surveys have shown that children play games too
many
times which can cause
myope
in their eyes.
Secondly
, we have
used
a smartphone to
meet
online meetings or interact with others… It
makes
us lazy to
meet
directly
. That
gradually
shatters relationships and is becoming distant from each other…

As we know, smartphones are
very
useful for our
life
,
but
they have lots of harmful health and communications influences. I believe that they are useful to us if we know to
use
them
effectively
.
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IELTS essay smartphones have harms, especially health and relationships. do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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