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Smartphones are beneficial to students. do you agree or disagree

Smartphones are beneficial to students. x07Qy
It is often debatable whether or not smartphones in the modern world is benificial to children or not. While some parents argue that cellphones should not be permitted to their offspring, I, on the other hand, completely disagree with this preconcived notion. I believe this for two reasons which I will examine in this essay. To begin with, the latest applications available on the gadgets has reshaped how we communicate with our loved ones. Evidently, the advancement of technology has changed the way people stay in contact. In particularly, people nowaday video call each other or send messages instead of letters as it was in early century. This helps to instantly connect with the other party without having to wait for eternity for their reply. My brother is a compelling example of this. When he was enrolled for classes in another city, my dad gifted him a brand new smartphone that had all the latest features and social media applications. Because of the distance it was difficult to travel every day and as a parent, my dad wanted to know about his whereabouts and his performace in the studies. So, he video calls everyday and talk for hours explaing how his day was. The conversation helps my dad to relax and not worry about him. I am sure if my dad would have not provided him smartphone, it would have been difficult to communicate because of the distance. Secondly, with the break-through of internet, the usage of smartphones have skyrocketed more than in the past. In particularly, smartphones provide access to a wide spectrum of information available in the internet. In fact, this helps children to broaden their horizon. This can be best exemplified by my personal experience. Recenty, I had to appear for an online exam. I was really worried as I had no idea of how it would be conducted. My daughter saw my nervousness and soon after some time she came up to me with details and past experience of the students by searching on the internet on her phone. As a result, reading people's experience helped me to calm my anxiety. If I had not provided smartphone to her and if should would have not been well wersed with the gadget, I am pretty sure that I would have dlunked in the exam. In conclusion, I am of opinion that a child should not be restricted from using smartphones and parents should support this idea. This is because smartphones help to stay in touch and communicate with our loved ones and because it helps children to stay updated with the latest information on the web.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debatable
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
smartphones in the modern world is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
to children or not. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents argue that cellphones should not
be permitted
to their offspring, I,
on the other hand
, completely disagree with this
Possible spelling mistake found.
preconcived
notion. I believe this for two reasons which I will examine in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the latest applications available on the gadgets has reshaped how we communicate with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Evidently
, the advancement of technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stay in contact. In
particularly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
video call each other or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages
instead
of letters as it was in early century. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
instantly
connect with the other party without having to wait for eternity for their reply. My brother is a compelling example of this. When he
was enrolled
for classes in another city, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
gifted him a
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
smartphone that had all the latest features and social media applications.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the distance it was difficult to travel every day and as a parent, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
wanted to know about his whereabouts and his
Possible spelling mistake found.
performace
in the studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he video calls
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and talk for hours
Possible spelling mistake found.
explaing
how his day was. The conversation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
to relax and not worry about him. I am sure if my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
would have not provided him smartphone, it would have been difficult to communicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the distance.

Secondly
, with the break-through of internet, the usage of smartphones have skyrocketed more than in the past. In
particularly
, smartphones provide access to a wide spectrum of information available
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
. In fact, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
children to broaden their horizon.

This can be best exemplified by my personal experience.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Recenty
, I had to appear for an online exam. I was
really
worried as I had no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of how it would
be conducted
. My daughter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my nervousness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time she came up to me with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and
Consider using "experience".
past experience
of the students by searching on the internet on her phone.
As a result
, reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to calm my anxiety. If I had not provided smartphone to her and if should
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
would
have not been well
Possible spelling mistake found.
wersed
with the gadget, I am pretty sure that I would have
Possible spelling mistake found.
dlunked
in the exam.

In conclusion
, I am of opinion that a child should not
be restricted
from using smartphones and parents should support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
smartphones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to stay in touch and communicate with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
children to stay updated with the latest information on the web.
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IELTS essay Smartphones are beneficial to students.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
439 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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