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Similar shops and product , some considered it is positive whereas thinks its as a negative , discuss and give your opinion

Similar shops and product, some considered it is positive whereas thinks its as a negative, discuss and give your opinion m3YWK
In the era of 21st century, world has become global village and as a result competition has increased at rocket speeds. As a result production and distribution of it have becine more convenient and easy. Some people thinks it is as a positive sides while other take it as a detrimental. However, different people has distinct mindset and both has their positive and negative sides. In ensuing paragraph i will discuss both approaches and will take my sides at the end of essay. To begin with, firstly nowadays there are variety of products available In market, due to which customers gets confused about the product which is necessary for their life. As too much product leads buyers into confusion, sometimes they may purchase useless product in place of product with other great benefit and may also affordable. This is waste of money earn with hardwork. Secondly as computation gets multiply, than sellers profit’s ratio will mitigate because he must need to sell their product in reduce price, hence, the scenario which leads buyers into confusion also force sell at lower cost for the product. Last but not lease monopoly also increase the cost of product for example increase in cost of electricity by the government than societies must need to pay according to the price set by government. On flip sides, like every argument has two sides, likewise variety of products and different types of brand have had one main detrimental sides is advertisement, advertising different product increase advertising cost of the company. As an epitome of this scenario YAMAHA, automobile company manufacturing company, manufacture many kinds id bikes and for that a bit more investment needed for the advertising, as a result company can make handsome profit and also societies can buy the product accordingly their choice and affordable price. To conclude with, although there are some positive sides of selling same product, even though selling varieties of product give more benefits, so according to my opinion I personally believe selling of multiple product has its own significance.
In the era of 21st century, world has become global village and
as a result
competition has increased at rocket speeds.
As a result
production and distribution of it have
Possible spelling mistake found.
becine
more convenient and easy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
it is as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
while other take it as a detrimental.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
distinct mindset and both has their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
. In ensuing paragraph
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss both approaches and will take my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of essay. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
firstly
nowadays there are variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available In market, due to which customers
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "get".
gets
confused about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which is necessary for their life. As too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
leads buyers into confusion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
with other great benefit and may
also
affordable. This is waste of money earn with
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
.
Secondly
as computation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
multiply,
Did you mean "then"?
than
sellers profit’s ratio will mitigate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
need to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
price,
hence
, the scenario which leads buyers into confusion
also
force sell at lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not lease monopoly
also
increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
for example
increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of electricity by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
than societies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
need to pay according to the price set by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. On flip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
, like every argument has two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
,
likewise
variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of brand have had one main detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
is advertisement, advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
increase advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. As an epitome of this scenario YAMAHA, automobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, manufacture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds id bikes and for that a bit more investment needed for the advertising,
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
handsome profit and
also
societies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
accordingly
their choice and affordable price.
To conclude
with, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of selling same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
even though
selling varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
give more benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
according to my opinion I
personally
believe selling of multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance.
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IELTS essay Similar shops and product, some considered it is positive whereas thinks its as a negative, discuss and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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